There is a saying that I heard once that was something akin to: “most people only make significant changes in their lives when they feel very uncomfortable where they are.” I see this echoed often in my clients, who normally seek out my help when they come to the realisation that they aren’t able to make the discomfort go away on their own. Often, however, the work is more intensive and more self-challenging than they would have expected from a Love Coach. Unfortunately, there are plenty of band aid solutions out there in dating and flirting coaches and “do it like this” books that just teach us to smile or dress or act differently and the changes will come with minimal effort. When dealing with their love life, many of my clients will at some point use the phrase “but this is hard work”.
It has been widely accepted that changes are not welcomed warmly and that, in general, people do not seek out big changes if circumstances are not that bad. Instead of provoking a new situation, we generally adapt to the situation as it is or pretend that nothing has changed until the point of breaking when we can’t ignore the problems anymore. We all know that person that stays in his or her job for decades even though he could be much more successful and much more influential somewhere else, just because it is easier to do nothing than to do something to create a change that could potentially be either much better or possibly more challenging (though I have found the former to be the case most of the time). Making changes takes work and it means switching from reactivity (which is easy, even if painful) to proactivity (which is challenging and takes work).
However, the recent political events of Brexit and the American elections have seemed to go completely against this logic. The Western world as a whole is calling for a change and a significant change at that. Is this a sign that we have grown so uncomfortable that we are seeking huge leaps to bring us out of this situation? You might say that love and politics have nothing to do with each other, and are thinking that this isn’t really in the field of what I should be writing a newsletter for love about; but both are dictated by people’s outlooks towards life and towards the world in general. Just as I see failure patterns in relationships, the choices we make in seeking them out, keeping them, or avoiding them, equally I see similar patterns in the political choices of today, especially when it comes to the current elections (both with Brexit where I sit in London and with the US where I first considered home and where my family lives). Both choices reflect states of mind.
The point isn’t whether the decisions being made are good or bad or right or wrong; the point is that choices are being made and people are stating their opinions clearly and with conviction by making these choices. In itself the act of choice speaks more about the condition in which we are in or strive for; if you go to a Coach, for instance, they help show you how not to be afraid of choices and the possibility of them failing, because making choice, in itself, is already a regaining of control in one’s life. The political choice, that made by masses of people compounded together is a powerful one that speaks of a clear direction: the people are calling out for change. Keeping in mind that change is desired mainly when the situation one is in is uncomfortable enough to want to move out of it, the message sent now by two Western countries is a clear one.
The American people made their choice, just as the British people had before them. In this scenario, people chose the change and choosing the change shows that something for someone, somewhere (on a global scale) was very wrong. The change has happened and more is to come – our choice is to decide how we will welcome this change, not to fear it, and remember that within the wide, wide universe, our own life is our own choice.
Change is hard, but it is also often necessary for any kind of significant movement towards self-improvement. Need help with changing your life to allow Authentic Love to flow into it? Schedule a free 30 minute call with Julia to see how she can help you to make the changes to improve your personal love story for good. https://bookyoursession.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?appointmentType=1926282
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