Be A Better You To Find True Love

 Recently I started to work with a new friend of mine, Stewart, who introduced me to the world of radio. I guest starred on his show several times and you can listen to them here. It was great fun!
Screen Shot 2018-07-10 at 22.16.29UK Health radio also has its own magazine dedicated to healthy lifestyle, where you can find an article I wrote about finding love.

Be A Better You To Find True Love – An Article For the Health Triangle Magazine

In this busy interconnected world, where technology promises to make it easier than ever to find a “date” for the evening (even if it only lasts an evening), why does it seem harder than ever to find the Love that we desperately seek? If you’ve been searching for longer than you’d care to admit and are beginning to wonder if true love still exists, or if you feel you’ve looked everywhere and are stuck in either a string of short-term romances that never materialise into anything significant or a rut of no romance at all, perhaps you’re looking for love in the wrong  places. In fact, perhaps the first place you should look for the source of your love problems is in the mirror. If there’s anything I’ve learned from my work as a Love Therapist, it’s that the first place to start on your journey towards true Love is with yourself. So here are three big questions to ask yourself on your way to becoming the best version of You that will get you back on the road to finding Love.

• DOYOULOOKDESIRABLEENOUGH?

No matter how much we sugarcoat the fact, looks are an important first part of attraction. That doesn’t mean that you have to be the living embodiment of the next pinup model or that you have to be perfectly slim, perfectly built or perfectly proportioned. It simply means that you need to take the time to look after how you look. When choosing a Partner, all of us subconsciously search for someone who is healthy and well put together. Begin with feeding your body right so that both your figure and your skin look healthy and vibrant. Then find clothing that flatters your figure and helps you to look well-presented and attractive. Your hair, your skin and your makeup should be flattering to your face (no matter your age). Learn to take care of your body and health better by eating right and exercising appropriately. Every client that signs up to any of my packages spends at least one session (if not an entire month) working on looking their best. The better they begin to look, the better they feel about themselves, the easier they bring love into their life.

• DO YOU FEEL DESIRABLE ENOUGH?

No matter how great you look, if you don’t feel good about yourself, your relationships will either stagnate or never really feel right. The first part of my book Attract Authentic Love begins with loving yourself first. We must begin to appreciate and value ourselves in order to teach the world how to appreciate and value us. That means beginning with feeling that we are worthy of love and that we are desirable enough to find it. If we don’t demonstrate respect for ourselves, and allow others to treat us badly, how can we complain when they do? The only end to the cycle of negative love is to feel truly worthy of positive, affirming love that values us and to accept nothing less, only allowing those who

treat us well close enough to win our hearts. This begins with believing we are desirable and worthy of love, and believing it enough that we call it into our lives.

• DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE?

Before you can begin to look for love, you have to believe in it. So if your attitude about love at the moment could use a tune up, that could be why your love life isn’t working. After all, life has an interesting way of giving us whatever we expect it will. If we look for darkness and negativity, we can easily find it. To find love and happiness, you have to look at life as if that love and happiness is already there and readily available to you. With my clients, I help them get to this point through targeted hypnotherapy, NLP and visualisation exercises. You can do this on your own by imagining yourself being loved, looked after and admired and feeling how wonderful it feels to have this continuously until you really believe in the possibility. Remember that true love is out there for every one of us. Have faith, believe and be open to finding it.

To read other Health Triangle Magazine Articles for free simply click here

Why celebrating love brings love our way (even if we don’t feel loved at the moment)

Why celebrating love brings love our way (even if we don’t feel loved at the moment)

Ah it was the Day of Lovers again, the day when lovers seem to be seen everywhere, sometimes forced into celebrating, and the singles want nothing more than to hibernate and hide out for an entire day. Why is Valentine’s Day so much pressure and annoyance for so many?

Personally, as a Love Coach, I like the idea of a day specifically designed to celebrate love. What more important emotion could we celebrate after all? But I’ve also been in the situation of being single on Valentine’s Day and I fully recognize how difficult it could be to be surrounded by couples when you yourself are alone; or even when you have someone, but that someone makes you feel just as lonely as if you were alone.

I can fully understand how many people don’t like the feeling of others having the happiness that they lack, and I can see why seeing others in love can make you feel even more alone if your own situation isn’t one that echoes that love. I’ve been there; so I get it. Since I’ve become a Love Coach, however, I deal with the idea of love on a regular basis.

Now I think of couples in love in a different way, as I know just how special having love really is. The thought of so many people out there finding love, despite all odds, is hugely comforting. After all, love is something that seems rarer and more challenging both to find and to keep these days with the advent of the swipe generation.

Love is an effort that must be made. It is a challenge that must be handled carefully and touched softly.

Careful not to push or pull too hard, but also something to lose ourselves into while keeping ourselves intact – a delicate balance that is much too often lost. There is a comfort in knowing that there are still people out there who, every day, find and uncover this delicate balance.

I like to think that if others can find and keep this amazing thing called love, it means that someday all of us could uncover the secret of this perfect balance for ourselves. Sometimes, in the moments when love seems more challenging or particularly scarce, it is this hope that keeps me going and keeps me positive.

I’ve spent a lot of time watching people who are successful at love and trying to isolate those exact elements that create ideal love life and love life shared as a true team with someone. I’ve spent time interviewing and watching the behaviour of both sexes to uncover what truly makes one successful in finding and keeping love.

One of the main things I’ve found is that it is those people who wish well for others who also find well for themselves.

Everyone I’ve spoken to claims that they want to be with someone with a positive outlook on life, no matter how negative their own outlook is. Those with a genuinely positive outlook on life attract more people in general; they have more friends; and they are nicer and more pleasant to be around.

Being likeable is the first stage towards being lovable. Obviously, there are exceptions to this rule and we all know people that we think are horrible that somehow land themselves a fantastic partner. But these are exceptions, and they often don’t bode well in the long-term. Imagine women you know who spend loads of time primping for a party and look a million bucks, but who wear a sulky or pompous expression when they actually go out. Though they may look beautiful, they generally don’t manage to attract quality people to them because the attitude they wear on the inside shines through and gives them away.

Such is everything in life. People who are attractive on the inside are much more successful in attracting quality, long-term partners to them.

When we wish well for others, even the things that we desire most and may not have ourselves yet, we open up that channel into the universe to allow those wonderful gifts to flow.

Wanting well for others also keeps our hearts more pure and our smiles of happiness for others’ successes more genuine. And this will radiate from us and create positivity that in itself is attractive.

One of the things that I’ve loved most about being a part of DrivenWoman is having that network of amazing women that genuinely wish each other well, being there to help during the failures and to congratulate during the successes. It means that we can truly be ourselves, filled with questions or happily finding answers, while improving ourselves at the same time, becoming the best version of who we really are.

So let all of us learn to smile at love! Let us celebrate the fact that there are many who feel it strongly and who want to show it – even if we ourselves don’t feel it immediately at the moment, or even if it’s a bit dangling in distress, we know that it’s out there and that someday we, too, have the potential to bask in all its’ glory.

Let’s wish others well and open a positive window to all possibilities.

Julia

Julia Keller is a DrivenWoman member and Group Leader; and a transformational Love Coach.

Being Grateful On Thanksgiving

Being Grateful On Thanksgiving

The Americans have just celebrated Thanksgiving, the holiday that is very close to my heart being raised in the US. We gather with friends and family to celebrate an important time in history when the Pilgrims, in what is now the US, gave thanks for a good harvest that year.

I still remember a lesson my cousin taught us many years back on one of the last Thanksgivings that I was able to spend with my family in the US. “Thanksgiving is about giving thanks, being grateful,” she told us and asked us all to go around the table to tell everyone what we were grateful for.

So this year, I find that it’s me ushering both my Love Coaching clients and my kids to consider what they’re grateful for. There are many people I know who spend much of their time thinking and talking about the things in their lives that aren’t working and that they’d like to change. While growing and improving is something I am a very big supporter of (and something I myself am always doing in my own life), complaining about what’s not working on a regular basis is usually not an effective strategy for a successful life.

In fact, most of the people I know who spend a lot of time complaining, actually spend very little time really doing something to change their circumstances.

Some people have simply become accustomed to only talking about what’s not working in their lives. What’s interesting is that those same issues that they’ve always had are still there many years later. Sometimes, the issues even seem to get worse as the Law of Attraction states: like attracts like. Thinking and complaining about what’s wrong and what’s not working, will inevitably draw more of that into your life and you keep paing more attention to it.

This is why gratitude is so important.

When we’re forced to look at what in our life is actually something that IS working and that we feel gratitude for, it introduces a completely different way of looking at our life in general. One of the exercises that I do with my clients suffering from issues of self-confidence, for example, or with issues in their relationship, is force them to look at what they DO like, either in themselves or in their partner. Often, just that little exercise forces a dramatic shift that completely changes the mentality of the person.

That’s not to say that we should rest on our laurels and just be happy with everything we have without ever asking for more. Not at all. Asking for more – and then acting towards those goals – is what drives success.

But we also will never find contentment if we spend all of our time just asking for more. There is a balance that must exist between asking for more and thanking the universe (or whatever force you believe in) for what you’re being given.

Most of us have small miracles coming into our lives on a regular basis. The problem is that we often miss them.

That’s where gratitude is so important.

When we force ourselves to look for what we are thankful for in our lives, we often begin to realise just how amazing and miraculous our life really is.

I always think of my parents and how they speak about each other when asked. After more than 35 years of marriage, they are more integrated and united than ever and each still claims that the other is their ideal partner in life, even with occasional issues that arise and have arisen over time. It may not be possible to have the ideal partner, or the ideal life. But what is within our grasp, is how we look at what we have and what we’ve been dealt, and how we react to it.

The same incident has the potential to be both a blessing or a curse, depending on the perspective from which we look at it. That, in itself, seems to be what makes the biggest difference in how things actually turn out in our lives.

Today, I’m incredibly grateful for my children, my family and my good friends. I’m grateful for all the amazing women I meet who help me realise every day why I do what I do, and a big I give a big thanks to all my clients who have trusted me to take them on a journey of self improvement and self discovery.

What you are grateful for today?

Julia

Julia Keller is a DrivenWoman member and group leader; and a transformational Love Coach.

Time To Life Is Now

Time To Life Is Now

Ever since I’ve had the courage to truly pursue my long dream of becoming a Love Coach, I’ve found myself meeting the most incredible, interesting people who have the potential to be truly great and live a life that is amazing, but who find themselves stuck in one way or another, incapable of truly living or enjoying the life they find themselves in.

I have met men who fear commitment so much that even though they yearn longingly for that incredible love, marriage, and family, when it finally comes along smiling and beckoning towards them, they find every possible excuse not to claim that potential love that is right there in front of them. I have met them years later too, when that love is now someone else’s prize and they are filled with bitterness at that moment when they failed to act and claim that ideal life for themselves.

I have met women who were so hurt by some man who never valued or appreciated them that they wasted precious extra time (sometimes years, occasionally even decades) moping and crying over him rather than stepping out and using the opportunity to meet someone wonderful who could truly be “the one”. Years later, these same women, who wasted their 20s and early 30s in tears and wallowing find their biological clocks ticking against them and their desperation growing and spend that same precious time lamenting how they wasted too much time lamenting!

I know that it’s hard to put the pain away and to stop running after the lost moments. Believe me, I have been there myself. I still occasionally catch myself saying things like, “if I’d only known this when I was younger…”

Time isn’t going to wait for you to find that perfect moment which doesn’t exist and in which everything comes together beautifully.

It isn’t real and there is no point in wasting yet more of this precious time in fear, in hiding, in lamenting, in regretting, in holding back so much that you don’t even allow yourself to feel. You see, life stands still for no one! Time doesn’t have mercy; it doesn’t feel your pain; it doesn’t understand your grievances or your perfect reasons for not being ready just yet. Time is just there ticking away, taking all of your precious excuses and all of your precious hours just the same, whether you live them or not.

I know this now and I know many people who have learned it too late and who still grieve the many moments that they’ve wasted. Most of the people that I know who are filled with regrets live to regret the things that they didn’t do and not the things they did do. The majority of time we suffer for our lack of action; and not for the bold acts that we took bravely. In my own life I’ve come to realise that it is the words that I didn’t say, the emotions I didn’t express, and the things I was too scared to do at the time that still haunt me.

Failures that come from the brave acts I committed I still look upon fondly as one looks upon battle scars that were not too grave and that left only the slight impression of some daring act in the past. But I remember still the waterfall where I was too frightened to jump off the hill that other more courageous (crazy I thought at the time) people jumped off of proudly. I remember the time I didn’t fly in that single engine plane when I had the chance and I missed the opportunity to see the beauty of nature from above; rather choosing to stand watching safely on the ground too afraid to fly while others soared in the clouds and marvelled afterwards about the beauty that I could only imagine for my fear.

And, of course, what I still regret most are the love affairs never attempted because of so many excuses that seemed rational at the time: because I wasn’t ready then, or it was too complicated, or I was too lost in some secret insecurity within myself to even bother saying “hello”.

Whatever excuse I gave myself then, life passed me by as it inevitably does with all of us.

Then there was my lost career path for a while as well; I still regret how many years I’d forgotten who I was and what I was meant for.

I consider myself lucky though. Somehow somewhere before my last birthday, something suddenly woke me up. It was the best wakeup call I’d ever received – one that many people never manage to receive in their lifetime – even if there were the moments of agony when the veil was finally lifted from my eyes and I realised just how much time I’d wasted up to then.

The one regret I still have: that I didn’t see it sooner. I spent so many hours, days, weeks, months, and years in inaction that a small part of my life disappeared with it. Now that I’m awake though I can’t bear to see those who still live in a walking daydream and pass their hours by complaining about the life they’ve never lived, when there is a life just within their reach that they are too scared to take advantage of.

I know many people personally who lamented wasting their youth and not getting married and spend so many waking days speaking of how they’re longing to find that ideal someone to share their life with. But whenever someone who seems like a great catch comes along, they find reasons and excuses of why that person too is not the right person for them. Time goes by and no one is ever right. Before they know it their thirties blend into their forties, and their forties become their fifties, then their fifties become their sixties, and they are still alone and still searching for that elusive match that doesn’t really exist.

The only one responsible for your perpetual unhappiness and lack of fulfilment in life is ultimately – you.

The time to act is now. The time to discover the life you’ve always wanted to live is in this moment. The time to live is now! It’s so important that I will say it again over and over again and it’s what I teach my clients, because it’s this lack of living I almost faded into that still haunts me to this day!

And if you don’t know how to get started on your own, ask someone who knows a bit more for help. For all the women who are reading this and who are ready to live but just don’t know how, and are frustrated with what seems like a constant array of shutting doors, let me be your guide. I have stood where you are standing before and I have known that same frustration and that same feeling of wanting to move but not being sure of how or where. Now that I’ve come out the other side, I know how amazing that light at the end of the tunnel really is, even if there’s another tunnel waiting later on down the road. There is nothing that feels as wonderful as truly feeling alive and truly being in control of your own life and your destiny.

The time to live is now! Why waste another moment in inaction and in a feeling of helplessness. Nothing good ever came out of persistent ruminating without eventual action. Live now! Breathe now! Love now! Feel now! 

Now is the moment to take that plunge, to find that love, to breathe in that moment, to take that risk.

Now is the moment to approach that attractive stranger you’ve been eyeing, or to go further with that friend you’ve been fancying for years (just learn to do it in the right way of course). Life isn’t going to wait out your fears. Time won’t stop or go backwards to accommodate you because you’re not ready yet. Giving into a fear of motion, or commitment, or action of any kind will just leave you alone longer. Yes you can always claim later that you’ve learned to depend on yourself better. But, let’s be honest: there’s no happiness in life as great as that amazing happiness that comes from having a truly fulfilling, loving relationship. Just ask any of those rare people who’ve had the courage to reach for what they’ve wanted and the ability to appreciate it. Don’t wait any longer to pursue it. The time to life is now!

Julia

Julia Keller is a Transformational Love Coach for Women and a DrivenWomanmember. She empowers women to Find the love they want, Improve the love they have, & Love the life they live. Join her DrivenWoman Workshop – Finding Your Femininity, Become Irresistible on 28. September 2015 6:30 pm in Soho, London. Find out more here.

We Cannot Fly Unless We Jump

Ever since I’ve began telling people that I’m a Love Coach, the response I get has been very often a resounding “Oh I really need you!” While this is obviously great for my coaching career, and while I’ve won quite a few clients just by meeting them, it’s also unfortunately a sign of our times when there are more singles than ever and where people struggle more than ever before to truly connect (in person) to another human being.

The problem with today is that we all walk around being extra polite and PC to one another and playing some game that makes us seem like everyone else playing the same game. But this doesn’t work. It doesn’t get us what we actually want, which is normally to be really loved and accepted by another human being and to truly love and accept them back; and it doesn’t bring us any closer to happiness.

On this coming Valentine’s Day in this year of 2016, have the rules of dating changed so much that we don’t even recognize what we’re meant to be anymore? We’ve forgotten what it feels like to love for real (and that’s a word few dare to utter anymore), to fight for what we truly want, to put our hearts out there and possibly have them ripped out. We’re so afraid of getting hurt, that we don’t allow ourselves to feel anymore. But can we ignore the fact that we cannot fly unless we jump. We cannot soar unless we take a risk and at least attempt flight.

We are so afraid of getting hurt, that we do nothing. We are so fearful of crashing that we take no risks. Instead we flick from one image to another on our Tinder screens, because that is a safer type of rejection than actually putting ourselves out there and being rejected. We go through bodies like they’re disposable but we don’t get past the limbs into the soul and we don’t allow anyone into our soul. Everything seems too replaceable, too ready to be discarded. There is always something better around the corner, isn’t there? Why work on anything? Why try to make anything last when there is always something else that is younger, more shiny, more new, and less full of cracks.

We are so fearful of the pain that will maybe possibly come from being hurt one day if someone doesn’t love us as we are that we hide who we are under layers of protective unfeeling instead. We take no risks; we jump no leaps; we stand for nothing; and we never stand out of the crowd of everyone else who stands for nothing too. We blend; we fit in. We forget that what actually makes us special — what makes us amazing — is that fearless individuality that we’re trying so hard to hide.

I have been hurt and I have done the hurting. I have cried buckets for both. But it has passed and I’ve healed and I’ve moved forward. But of all the pain  that one can feel in this world, there is little that feels as bad as loneliness. There is little to cure that constant ache that comes from hiding behind all the layers that stop us from ever reaching what we really want to hold. It isn’t constantly changing bodies that we’re after; not really. Even those who are temporarily distracted by bodies are actually after something much more profound eventually.

But as it works in finance; it works the same in life and in love: no risk; no return. If you risk nothing — nothing of yourself and nothing of your heart — then you end up with nothing. You end up alone. Or worse, you end up with the wrong someone and just as lonely as if you were alone. As someone who has been in all directions of pain, I think that one is the worst.

Valentine’s Day is coming this week, and I know the feeling of wanting to hide, hibernate, escape, whatever. I know the feeling of wanting to run away and ignore that ache that comes from being lonely on a day that seems to celebrate love. But what if we took a risk and did something different this time around. What if instead of running, hiding, hibernating, escaping, or whatever; we stood still and faced the reality of our situation and actually looked it flat in the face and said “no more!” What if we did something about it. What if we took a risk. What if we jumped. What if we laid our heart raw and took the risk of someone trampling on it. What if we said, “that’s it! Now I do everything I can to make sure that from now on my life will be different.”

We will never win another’s heart if we are constantly afraid of letting ours go bare. We will never set ourselves apart from the masses if we always just say the right thing that we hope they’re wanting to hear, if we just blend. We will never stand out from a crowd of everyone else if we behave like everyone else. To be noticed, to be seen, to be felt, to be desired above every other person, we must be different. We must be brave. We must risk everything. And if we feel that we have nothing; well then we have nothing to lose. We must ignore the fear; we must take a risk. We must jump and even if we fall flat on our faces, those moments of excitement, the moments of passion — those moments when we really feel that we can only experience if we take a risk — they will be bigger and better than anything we can imagine if we play it safe; and they will last us a lifetime of memories and maybe even will create a lifetime of love.

Giving thanks on this day of Thanksgiving

This month is the month of Thanksgiving (at least in the US). Thanksgiving, officially is a holiday celebrated in the United States on the fourth Thursday in November and is now known as the “eating holiday” because it is more defined by eating an abundance of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, yams, pumpkin everything, and all kinds of pies (pumpkin, pecan, apple…) than by actually remembering to be thankful for anything (which was really the original point of the holiday). According to Wikipedia, “the event that Americans commonly call the ‘First Thanksgiving’ was celebrated by the Pilgrims after their first harvest in the New World in 1621.The New England colonists were accustomed to regularly celebrating ‘thanksgivings’— days of prayer thanking God for blessings such as military victory or the end of a drought. So it is these colonists that we can thank for the idea of giving thanks.

The idea behind Thanksgiving was supposed to be a day when we think about things and people that we are grateful for and when we remember those things and give thanks for them. Even though I am currently living in London, I still celebrate Thanksgiving every year. When I was in the US, Thanksgiving dinner would normally be a big group of family and close family friends gathering at my parents’ house. My home these days is too small for a big group, so my celebration every year is a smaller one, just with close friends and their children. I do focus on the food of the holiday of course (that is after all one of the best parts). But I also think it’s important to not forget the thankfulness part of the holiday. After all, how often do we really remember to be grateful for what we have. Normally, it’s the opposite: we walk around thinking about what we lack, what we don’t like, and what we’d like to change, or at least where we’d like to be eventually (that isn’t where we are at the moment).

But, though looking to better ourselves in our lives is of course a very important part of self-development and achieving success, it is no less important in the achievement of happiness than being grateful for who we are and what we’ve already achieved. In fact, according to Harvard Health Publications in their online article about the research about gratitude they write that “In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.” Getting in touch with what one is grateful for, either about themselves or about their life or Partner, is an exercise I do with my clients when I help to refocus them on the positive. By looking at what we do have, rather than focusing on what is missing, we are able to very dramatically begin to change our life outlook, which therefore begins that change towards that better life and love life that we crave.

So in this very important time of Thanksgiving, I want to give thanks to the important people in my life who are the reasons why I am here and why I’m making the work I’m doing with clients and with women in my workshops and women’s groups into my mission. Thank you. I appreciate you all.

Julia xx

LOVE IN THE SLOW LANE – Take Flight

Natalie Davison’s Personal Blog 

So last Friday night the wing ladies assembled again. Preened and ready for the kill (I mean the flirt).

We hit Soho, and after a false start in a very “coupled up” piano bar we decided to begin practising on the patrons pouring out of a bar nearby (and no – it wasn’t a gay bar).

I started early, doing the look into my eyes trick and was having fun locking eyes with a chap across the bar while we were waiting for drinks to be served. He was a good-looking bloke and I was mindful of the Love Coach‘s advice about practising on those that you’re not interested in before being confident enough to try it out on those that you fancy.

So as our drinks were ready and Julia ordered us outside to begin flirting, I led the charge…

To continue readings click here 

LOVE IN THE SLOW LANE – Get Your Flirt On

Natalie Davison’s Personal Blog 

So people – it’s happening. Following my make-over last week, and after practising the eye contact game, I’ve been on some practical flirting sessions with a team of wing women assembled by Love Coach Julia Keller.

I bought a new black frock for the occasion [one that showed off the décolletage] and dutifully swapped between flats and high heeled shoes (because I still kind of look like Bambi on Ice in heels).

To continue reading press here 

LOVE IN THE SLOW LANE – Look in my eyes

Natalie Davison’s Personal Blog

They say the eyes are the window to your soul. And it would seem when embarking on the art of flirting, my eyes are going to play a key part in helping me win over the opposite sex.

We apparently all have appealing features when it comes to making an instant impression, whether it be a nice smile, great cheekbones, great teeth, long legs, a pert butt, shiny hair or a good decolletage.

After a brief assessment from my Love Coach, it would seem that my eyes are my best feature but I’ve not been making the most of them. Apparently, my décolletage has also been hiding under a bushel, so I’m now under orders to make them both shine.

To continue reading press here 

LOVE IN SLOW LANE – The Zone

Natalie Davison’s  Personal Blog

Dear Blog,

It’s been four weeks since my last post…… sorry. A lack of focus got in the way and a thing called summer.

But I’m back and ready to share some stories and insight into the male species that I’ve uncovered in the past few weeks.

My Love coach has been abroad for part of the time, so I’ve been free-styling a bit. Maybe so much so that after we met following the summer break I’m now on a X10 acceleration plan to get flirting and dating, so expect some hilarious posts in the coming weeks!!

But anyway, when I was left to my own devices, all was not lost. I put to practise some of the techniques I’ve learned, and have been wearing make-up everyday. But what I think I’ve learned most from my chats with Julia is about confidence. And I think I’m not alone in that most women lack confidence, particularly when it comes to dating and meeting men.

To continue reading press here 

LOVE IN THE SLOW LANE – Mr. Opinionated

Natalie Davison’s Personal Blog

My grandpa always had a saying – “silence is golden”.

So why is it in the modern world that we live that everyone seems to not be content with just having an opinion, but telling everyone in earshot what that opinion is.

I wasn’t going to write this blog post because I didn’t want to give more energy or negative thought to my encounter. However after posting on Facebook about my experience, it was clear I’d struck a chord.

You see I’m fat. Overweight, carrying extra timber, large, big – whatever you want to call it. I know this, but I’m also doing something about it.

I know about it because it’s me that has to carry me around each day, it’s me that has to find joy in going to the shops and hoping and praying they have some larger sizes on their racks for me to try on or it’s back to the potluck of online shopping, it’s me who is always conscious about taking up too much space on the tube seat, airplane seat, (insert any communal seat).

To continue reading press here 

LOVE IN THE SLOW LANE – Armour or amore?

Natalie Davison’s Personal Blog

Anyone who knows me knows I’m not a negative person, but it would appear that when it comes to my love life I fear the worst, brace for a disaster and build up a fortress that the Romans would be proud of.

No member of the opposite sex has a hope in hell of cracking through Fortress Nat.

That was until I started my chats with Love Coach Julia Keller and last week she put a chink in my armour.

And as a consequence, I’ve had a bit of a roller-coaster week. I talked last week about my realisation of letting it go, just like Elsa in her icy palace! But it seems I was more Frozen in my spot than I thought. Before I could take the next step, I needed to resolve my mindset when it comes to relationships.

To continue reading press here 

LOVE IN THE SLOW LANE – Let it go

Natalie Davison’s Personal Blog 

People who know me, know that I’m a bit of a karaoke fan.

I’m the first to admit that I can’t carry a tune to save myself. But I rationalise my ridiculous enthusiasm with the fact that everyone loves a trier.

There’s something completely cathartic about taking the microphone and throwing your heart and soul into belting out a classic tune. It just makes me feel good. Dolly Parton 9 to 5 is my all time favourite but I’m also known to attack, with full gusto, modern tunes, even of the Disney variety.

And that’s what happened this week. I was set a test by Love Coach Julia Keller and it was all part of learning to let go. So as well as doing the exercises (which have been cathartic in themselves), I’ve also been walking around most of the week with the tune from Frozen dancing through my brain. I’ve even been doing the “shazam” frozen hand gestures at the chorus parts for extra gusto (thank god I live by myself!).

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LOVE IN THE SLOW LANE – Put your face on

Natalie Davison’s Personal Blog 

Until last week, I could probably count on one hand how many times I’ve worn make-up this year.

I went to a wedding in April (that’s a make-up occasion), and a Christening in May, and (scratches head …..), oh yes, I got a Commendation from a Chief Constable in April (hmmm, why is it that I only make the effort when the event involves a church and/or authority???)

It’s not that I don’t think make-up has it’s benefits, because I know it can hide a multitude of sins and if you know how to do it right, it can make your best features even better. The problem is that I’m just not very good at it. I even went to a make-up class a few years ago to learn how to apply make-up. Unfortunately my smokey eye looked more like punched in the eye when I tried to apply the techniques at home.

So when I met with Julia for my next love coaching session we talked about self-image.

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LOVE IN THE SLOW LANE – The wait

Natalie Davison’s Personal Blog 

Time is of the essence. I watched a movie today called Still Alice. It was based on a book by Lisa Genova and evolves around the character Alice, a Harvard professor, who at the age of 50 is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.

I cried buckets.

Before her diagnosis Alice was successful, career-driven and the mother of three children. On the surface she had everything. But the movie got me thinking about the importance of the here and now, of making the most of every moment. Because as the story of Alice brought home – things can change in an instant.

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LOVE IN THE SLOW LANE – The hedgehog affect

Natalie Davison’s Personal Blog

I consider myself to be a fairly switched on person. So it was with surprise that during an initial discussion with Love Coach Julia Keller that she pointed out something that should’ve been very obvious to me.

We were discussing what I wanted in life, whether my aim was to be married and have kids etc. I said no to both. If I do happen to meet “the one” then that’s enough for me. I don’t need the big dress and an expensive day if I have someone by my side who is committed and trusting, that’s enough. On the child front, it’s just never been a great urge. I am lucky to have loads of nieces and nephews and friends who provide plenty of “kid” time for me to have my fix. I’m not shutting the door completely on the idea, because I’ve often thought about the option of adopting. But as a 40-year-old single woman I’m not at all bothered about the “tick tock” of my biological clock nor am I looking at the best options for freezing eggs.

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LOVE IN THE SLOW LANE

Natalie Davison’s Personal Blog

I’m sceptical. I don’t know why, but it’s a natural disposition for me to question things. Maybe that’s why I’ve built a career as a journalist and in public relations. I’m always searching for the bear trap, the catch in any situation. So when I recently had the opportunity to witness the transformation of a member of a networking group I’d been attending, I must admit I was amazed.

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