1. Being physically attracted to the woman they are with is essential to many men for falling in love with her

Men are visual creatures first. I teach that to women often in both my one to one coaching and my workshops. The first thing they notice is how you look, and it is still a big decision factor of whether they approach you or not, and whether they consider you a potential long-term partner or not. There is quite a lot written about what makes men attracted to women, including some very interesting research into a formula around waist-hip ratio (apparently the ideal is around 70%). But there are the other things that men won’t say but that they look for, like whether you look fit and healthy and whether you look feminine and well put together. When interviewed, the majority of men admitted to preferring women of average figure for potential long-term relationships. In other words, men preferred women with a figure who looked fit both over women who were too skinny or too fat. The reasons given were similar and, interestingly enough, had to do with men’s perceptions of both extremes signifying lack of health and self-care. While women who were heavily overweight seemed to alert men to lack of self-care or self-control; women who were too skinny seemed to signal either too much control (starvation) or lack of health (sickly; not eating healthily). The ideal woman for men, it appears, is one who has some curves and a figure. Men also prefer women who look after themselves and look well put-together and well-groomed. Feminine dress is always a plus!

  1. Hailing the independent, self-confident woman!

The feminist movement has come pretty far and though there have been some negative repercussions that most of us are aware of, this particular point is a big plus coming out of it. Though not all men of all generations have come around to the idea of the independent woman, most of the men I interviewed thought of this kind of woman as one to be proud of. Many men mentioned being more interested in a woman who is self-confident, outgoing, and active in her own life. So they’re not looking for a doormat who will be just about them, ladies. This is great news of course as the modern woman is now able to succeed in her life all on her own. It also means that men are not necessarily intimidated by successful women, as many clients who are successful women come to me claiming is the reason why they’re single. In fact, most men interviewed sang the praises of women who are independent and self-confident. So then where is the disconnect that leaves many independent and successful women alone and lonely? Well, that is precisely part of what I sought to uncover in the interviews. Part of the clue lay in what men didn’t say as much as in what they did say. The issue is that the independent woman often comes across as too independent, or that her energy comes across as too masculine for the masculine men that she is trying to pursue. Hence, I teach women to decide on which role in a relationship balance they’d like to play (is it the more feminine, softer energy or the more masculine pursuing energy). I also work with women to make sure that, once they’ve chosen their role, that they choose the right men to balance the relationship equation with. Much of my work also goes into helping women to uncover that sometimes elusive femininity that many wish to grasp but don’t know how.

  1. Show him you’re interested

As much as the feminist movement has helped women to become more independent (and has helped men realise how great an independent woman is), it has also hurt men’s confidence in approaching women. Gone are the days when an attractive, single woman is instantly approached by an equally attractive single man just because she’s single and is somewhere where single people would often be (say a bar or club). These days the whole game of approaching a woman is much more complicated for a man. There are many men I know who, despite being very attractive and eligible bachelors, will almost never approach a woman, even if very attracted to her. The problem is twofold: on the one hand, men worry more now about being shot down; on the other hand, many women (in particular ones who are independent and successful) have lost the ability to get a man to approach through the subtle act of flirting and seductive eye contact. You cannot imagine the power that having this ability has if used properly, and especially if combined with looking your best (for the situation at hand) and with feeling (and thinking) self-confident. Both of these are areas that I spend quite a lot of time teaching clients how to do in a way that brings about huge successes, both in my one to one work and in my workshops.

Want to find out more and learn how to appeal to what men really want? Join one of my upcoming workshops.

My next intake of one to one clients will be in June, but you can join my two new pilot workshops “Unleash the Irresistible Woman Within” at a significantly reduced rate by signing up on one of the links below. My London and NYC workshops coming up are 5 hours of learning and practice and a night out with me packed into one incredible evening. My online workshop takes much of the same learning and breaks it down into 5 live calls with me where I teach you for just under an hour and then take your questions for almost an hour. So that you finish each session having learned what you need to know to bring you closer to that ideal love life that you’ve always wanted!