Call me strange, or a hopeless romantic, but I truly believe in the power of love (including self-love) in bringing about happiness and in helping us to achieve our greatest dreams. Psychological research, in fact, supports my views and quite a lot has been written to sustain the idea that love and positive relationships not only make us happier, but they also keep us healthier and help us to be more successful in our lives. So I’m trying to do my little part to add more happiness and self-actualization to this world.
Some years ago, I made a move in my life which turned out to be the bravest and most risky thing I’ve done in many years (including the time when I decided to move to Europe to pursue my MBA rather than staying in the US close to family and friends): I left my husband. It took me years of an unhappy marriage to decide that we were never going to be that example of a great relationship that my parents and other friends and family members I knew seemed to have, and that I believed I deserved to find.
It was a scary move, and I began a completely new life without the easy financial support that staying with him (and staying home) provided. I hadn’t worked since my first daughter was born, so it was a struggle at first to find my feet again. In fact, it was a much bigger struggle than I’d expected and I did go through several dark moments wondering if I’d done the right thing. I have to admit that I fell very low before I was able to realize that I’d left my husband because I’d known that, with him, I could never become the me that I’d always wanted to be. This was my chance to finally live the life that I’d been wishing for. Would I risk blowing it again because of fear or insecurity?
So, I picked myself up and started to do everything I could to reach the life that I wanted to live. I began taking courses in topics that I thought could help me to reach the career that I wanted (I took a lot of courses!), and I began reading books that taught me how to find my way back to me. I read most of the dating books out there and most of the creating your life books out there too. And that’s what helped me to understand that all of the books had something in common: there was a formula to success that they all shared.
So I knew that to change my life, I simply had to change my mind!
The only way to achieve the life that I wanted to have was to think differently and then to act differently to back my thoughts up with purposeful action.
I took everything that I’d read and that I’d learned also during my Psychology degree all those years back and my MBA degree afterwards, as well as my copious sales and marketing training, and I put it to use to change my life.
The results were staggering! Almost overnight, my life turned around in such an incredible way that even I was wowed. All of a sudden, I was meeting more fantastic men in an evening of going out and mingling than I’d met over the past few years of going out or dating online – and that was with being a single mom with two kids too! I dated some fantastic men and had the most amazing conversations and connections I’d had in years. I even had some pretty good relationships. But I knew what I wanted in my future too, so I knew to leave when a relationship wasn’t feeling like one I’d want forever. I also knew when I’d found something pretty amazing, which I still know with my boyfriend now.