Hi, I am Julia!
I empower people to have the love & life they’ve always wanted.
Why? Because I believe the world is a better place when we are happy with ourselves and with the life we have and when that life includes having someone we truly love with us.
Call me strange if you want to, or a hopeless romantic, but I truly believe in the power of love (including self-love) in bringing about happiness and in helping us to achieve our greatest dreams. Actually, psychological research seems to support my views as quite a lot has been written to sustain the idea that love and positive relationships not only make us happier, but they also keep us healthier and help us to be more successful in our lives. So I’m trying to do my little part to add more happiness and self-actualization to this world.
That’s not to say that love is always easy. In fact, true, long-lasting love and fulfilling relationships take an incredible amount of work. In today’s society of relationships that don’t last and marriages that end too easily and of people skipping steps and then failing to work things out, it often seems that few out there are willing to invest in their relationships anymore. And then there are people who invest too much in relationships that are clearly sinking and that don’t deserve the investment. The trick is to know which relationship you’re in and whether anything you do will help to improve it or if it’s just time to walk away in the hopes of keeping yourself and finding what really fits you somewhere else.
Take it from me as I’m a brilliant example of this. Some years ago, I made a move in my life which turned out to be the bravest and most risky thing I’ve done in many years (including the time when I decided to move to Europe to pursue my MBA rather than staying in the US close to family and friends): I left my husband. It took me years of an unhappy marriage to decide that we were never going to be that example of a great relationship that my parents and other friends and family members were, and that I believed I deserved to find.
I had decided then that it wasn’t worth the work that I would need to put in to make us work, as we never could really in the way that would be satisfactory or fair for both of us. It was a scary move, and I began a completely new life without the easy financial support that staying with him (and staying home) provided. I hadn’t worked since my first daughter was born, so it was a struggle at first to find my feet again. In fact, it was a much bigger struggle than I’d expected and I did go through several dark moments wondering if I’d done the right thing.
Not only did I struggle to find work that I can do while balancing the time I needed to spend with my kids, but I struggled to meet anyone who I wanted to have a long-term relationship with. Life seemed to be a constant train of jobs I didn’t want or couldn’t get and men that I should have avoided at all costs. I remembered the good old days before marriage and before kids when I’d been younger and more desirable to both men and employers it seemed and when I could pick and choose who I wanted to be with and where I wanted to work. The playing field seemed to have changed on me in a way that I hadn’t really been ready for, or at least that’s what I believed in my down moments.
My single female friends seemed to corroborate the horrible situation that I was in. They were desperate to find a good man and no good man seemed to be able to be found. Either they didn’t know how to meet these great men that were supposedly out there, or else they somehow kept doing all of the wrong things and meeting just the wrong men. They were lost as to what men wanted; they were getting older; and they were becoming more and more desperate to settle down with someone. They thought that my leaving what looked like the perfect situation and being single again (but this time with two little kids to add to my burden) was a huge mistake and told me so constantly. Well-meaning strangers would say “I’m sorry” when I told them that I was divorced. “I’m not,” I would answer affirming that it was my choice to leave, but the notion of a woman choosing to be single (even when the other end was an unhappy marriage) still seemed like some kind of bad disease that I had to get past.
My housewife friends who wanted to come back to work also seemed to suffer from the same desperately bad minefield of lack of good work out there that I was going through. Articles I read talked about how difficult it was for women in their 30s to meet men and others spoke about the poor job market out there. I couldn’t help but to fall into victim mentality as well. After all, everyone else was suffering, so what made me feel that I’d fare any better?
I have to admit that I fell very low before I was able to realise that I’d left my husband because I’d known that, with him, I could never become the me that I’d always wanted. This was my chance to finally live the life that I’d been wishing for. Would I risk blowing it again?
So, I picked myself up off the floor and started to do everything I could to reach the life that I wanted to live. I began taking courses in topics that I thought could help me reach the career that I wanted (I took lot’s of courses!), and I began reading books that taught me how to find my way back to me. I read most of the dating books out there and most of the creating your life books out there too. And that’s what helped me realise that all of the books had something in common: there was a formula to success that they all shared.
So I knew that to change my life, I simply had to change my mind!
The only way to achieve the life that I wanted to have was to think differently and then to act differently to back my thoughts up with purposeful action.
I took everything that I’d read and that I’d learned also during my Psychology degree all those years back and my MBA degree afterwards, as well as my copious sales and marketing training, and I put it to use to change my life.
The results were staggering! Almost overnight, my life turned around in such an incredible way that even I was wowed. All of a sudden, I was meeting more fantastic men in an evening of going out and mingling than I’d met over the past few years of going out or dating online – and that was with being a single mom with two kids too! I dated some fantastic men and had the most amazing conversations and connections. I even had some pretty good relationships. But I knew what I wanted in my future too, so I knew to leave when a relationship wasn’t feeling like one I’d want forever. I also knew when I’d found something pretty amazing, which I still know with my boyfriend now.
My single female friends began to pay attention. Quite a few approached me and asked me what my trick was. That’s how I began coaching them on going out and meeting men and that’s how I was branded the Love Coach. I then helped friends I knew in dead-end relationships or in marriages that were losing their spark bring that fire back and improve the love they had. I also helped friends who were housewives and who wanted to find a career they loved to discover where their passions lay. I enjoyed coaching them so much that I decided to pursue coaching full time. I worked with several amazing Success Coaches and pursued a Coaching Diploma and training in NLP, as well as certifications in Couples Coaching, Wellness Coaching, and Group Coaching. I saw the great difference that using NLP made with clients and I took my studies in that all the way up to becoming an NLP Trainer under Richard Bandler. But I still wanted more to help my clients, so I went on to study hypnotherapy as well, which I’m studying now. Now I really can say that I love the life I live and enjoy what I do every day!
To find out how you too can uncover the life you love and to find the love you want or improve the love you have, book your free 30 minute Discovery Call with me here.
I continue studying and constantly improving myself in every way because I truly believe in continuous self-improvement, and because I want to make sure to always bring the best possible coaching to my clients. Like I tell my clients, sometimes you need the help of someone who knows what they’re doing to move you further forward than you can do on your own in your journey towards getting the life that you want. I too have had that help, through ample courses, studies, and work with coaches (I have a great one now in fact that’s helping me grow in my work). I’ve worked with so many different incredible women who were unhappy with their love life at the moment we began who changed so much along the way that they, too, were able to achieve the kind of ideal love life and life story that they had been longing for.
Now it’s your turn to write the life and love story that you desire. No matter what your age or how you feel about your life at the moment, you too can achieve the kind of life that makes you excited to start each new day and that brings a deep smile and happiness when you think of it. Why wait any longer for your ideal life and love to begin?
Because you deserve it!
For more information, book your free 30 minute Discovery Call with me here.