Tomorrow is the 14th of February, otherwise known in so many parts of the world now as that special equally cherished as dreaded day of lovers: Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is as much a day that some couples look forward to celebrating their love during as other couples dread being forced to celebrate. Singles too hide out in droves hoping to avoid feeling even more alone than usual for the feelings of lack of love that it stirs up.
From having seen my business double or triple around Valentine’s Day as a Love Coach — either helping unhappy couples to find happiness again, or (more likely) helping singles to find the love they’ve been struggling to find — to now witnessing the holiday from another point of view as a Holistic Therapist (seeing love and connection as one part of several that aids health); I’ve now come to see that what Valentine’s Day really needs is a significant rebrand. I know what you’re thinking: why would anyone want to rebrand a holiday that is so lucrative financially for so many companies in the various love industries?
The problem with Valentine’s Day is that it is “the Great Divider”. It divides couples into those who love to celebrate and those who dread the idea of it. It divides pairs into the one who has high hopes and expectations of Valentine’s Day and the one who’s doing something about it just because it has to be done (I think most of us can guess the sexual divide in that situation). And it divides people in general into those who look forward to celebrating Valentine’s Day and those who run away and hide from it.
In fact, the holiday begins to divide already in High School (or Secondary School), at least in the US. I remember distinctly the dread that would rise within me when Valentine’s Day cards were given out in class when I was in High School in the US. As an immigrant, and a foreigner, I’d moved around a lot in those days depending on where my parents needed to settle for work at the time, and I was very shy, so my friendship numbers were limited and I held onto the fear that no one at all would send me a Valentine’s Day card. I remember how nice it felt when there was a card delivered to me. It was from a new friend I’d just made recently, and that was the beginning of a friendship that lasted for years, where both of us knew that no matter what we always had a card from each other.
So perhaps that’s the lesson to be taken and the rebrand to be made. Valentine’s Day is meant to be a day of love, but there is nothing at all limiting love to just the one sweetheart in our lives — just as love in general shouldn’t be limited to just “the one”. In fact, our hearts are big and love is plentiful, though we love different people in different ways. We can love our Partner in one way and love our kids in a different way. We can love our friends in one way and love our parents, siblings and close family in a different way. Love thrives where it is given and blossoms where it is allowed to bloom. The more love we give, the more another love can thrive. We must allow our hearts to exercise this love in order to feel the freshness andyouthfulness of love thriving within us.
So let’s make Valentine’s Day a day to show love to all: including to ourselves. That little spark of love begins with the love we pay to our own hearts. That little faith in finding love begins with showing that love we seek to our own self. And for those who feel down on love, who have grown bitter with the disappointment of it’s lack — to those who grow old before their time because they only focus on love alluding them and only see that which they lack — to them too I want to give a sprinkle of faith again. There is nothing that can give you love as much as the simple faith in its’ arrival, even if it seems to have eluded you up until this point. Remember that Faith is what you have when sometimes it’s all you have. That’s why it’s called faith after all.
Sometimes there’s a bigger picture to a bigger story that we’re just a piece of playing around us. A wise friend of mine, upon being questioned for different distinctions of how he loved one over another recently said that love was such a vast subject: “Greater philosophers than me couldn’t agree on the specific aspects of love”. The thing about love is that you don’t have to understand it to feel it; you simply have to allow your heart the belief in possibility and the faith in that possibility becoming a reality.
So if you feel that the love you seek is still not there, use Valentine’s Day as a way to channel it in. Need help to do this? Schedule a free 30 minute call with me to show you how I can help you to love yourself better, to feel better in the love you have and to channel true love into your life. Because we all deserve love and true connection.