This is week 8 of our interview series. This week we admit that looks are important (all of our men interviews have made that apparent up to now) so it is not a point to ignore. However, good looks, as we’ve seen over the past weeks of interviews, go beyond just looking pretty. Most men have said that most women can make themselves look good with just a bit of effort. Looking good means keeping fit even as we age, though we all know that our bodies change with time. Looking good means thinking about what we wear (warning ladies, men are not that keen on Ugg boots despite the fact that they make your feet feel good) and being appropriate for whatever occasion. Looking good means elegance and femininity can be accomplished at any age (in fact, older women often have an advantage with this one). Looking good basically means looking after ourselves, and that is not something that stops with aging.
But let’s put that aside right now and dive into the actual nitty-gritty of what men really want from us women on a deeper level: from first date to long-term relationship. This week we manage to look further into what makes him choose you over other women, even if he has considerable choice.
- Most men, like us women, are looking for that ideal partner to share life with.This fact is an optimistic one and should put to rest the fear many women have that men are not after a long-term commitment but just want to fool around with as many women as possible. In fact, throughout this interview series, and beyond with the many men I’ve now spoken with, I’ve found the men who just want to have as many superficial flings as possible to be in the minority. Despite that, it is something that does exist with some men and hence women should make sure that when they fall for a man that he is the right one (check out the next point on how to figure this out). I have found, on the contrary, that men, like women, want to find that ideal partner who loves and respects them and who wants to be with them long-term. This is true even for men who have been married and divorced before and even for men who are not looking to have more children. Marriage is still a romantic ideal despite the many changes in society these days.
- The only way to know if he’s the right man is to ask the right questions.As I mentioned in the point above, there are many, many men who want to have an exclusive, long-term relationship with that someone special. There are also some men (unfortunately the same ones who give all men a bad name) that really are only in it for the short term fling element. The only way to know which man you have in front of you is to ask. And then listen and watch. Listen to what he says and listen for what he is saying between the lines without actually saying it. Ask follow up questions. Don’t be afraid to dig into the more tricky subjects if they are important to you. It is not a bad idea to ask serious questions on date 2 or 3 for instance. After all, how will you know whether you are on the same page with issues such as commitment, marriage, etc if you don’t ask? What is important, however, is the tone in which you ask these questions. Keep it light and even slightly fun, while also exerting your standards in a charming, flirty, feminine way. Men find clarity attractive and find a woman with high standards as one to strive towards and work for. They respect a woman who respects herself. Clarity demonstrates confidence and also gives him the peace of mind to know that you are a woman who is discerning, which makes him feel all the more flattered by the fact of being your chosen one when you choose him. Confidence and commitment to your choices and peaceful, feminine strength are qualities that are very sexy in a woman
- Tenderness and nurturing care is a quality that many men would like to find in the woman they choose long-term.The pattern seems to be that strong women who are successful in their careers often lack the tenderness and nurturing qualities that are crucial in creating a lasting relationship. In fact lack of those qualities, or the man feeling insufficient nurturing and tenderness from the woman he’s with, is often the cause of breakups in many relationships. The desire for such qualities could also be the reason why many successful, powerful men choose women who are significantly less successful and powerful (think the cliché of the boss marrying his secretary). However, many of the men that I’ve interviewed actually sang the praises of successful, confident women, stating though that they also wanted her to be feminine, soft, and warm. Imagine then how amazing a woman you can be if you can walk the line of both: being feminine, tender and nurturing while also being confident, independent, and successful.
Want to learn how to walk this tender line? Join my upcoming workshop. If you have questions about what we will cover and what you could learn, schedule a call with me to find out more.
I’ve put the learning from the research with men into my upcoming workshop that will help you to Unleash the Irresistible Woman Within? Watch the video below and sign up to the workshops and learn how you too can remain genuine to who you are while also making yourself into the ideal version of you that has him wanting to know you better and better. Learn to set and exert standards successfully in a way that has him dying to be the one and only man in your life.