Being true to who you are will bring the balance you are looking for in love

Hi there,

This is the 10th and final week of the “What Men Really Want” series. And for this week, we thought we’d bring you something rather different from the typical men that we’ve been interviewing up to now. This time we have two men who say that they love curves and full-figured women, women who are more stable than unpredictable, and women who do more of the work in the seduction process. So here are some of the key findings below.

1.   A woman who is emotionally stable and sure of where she is in life and where she wants to be is very attractive to men who are ready for a serious relationship. Drama queens need not apply here. When a man is ready for a serious relationship, he is looking for the right woman to have that relationship with. Maybe women who are all over the place are exciting when he’s young and unsure, but when he’s ready for something serious, he wants a woman who’s dependable and reliable. Quirky is good and so is keeping it interesting. So you can channel all your unpredictable into the activities you plan on occasion and even occasional surprises and what you bring into the bedroom. In day to day life, however, being someone who he can count on is key. There is a certain point in life, when the curiosity for the other goes into deeper territory, towards a more spiritual relationship where the couples constantly explore each other. That exploration, which is beyond the dramatic reactions and outbursts of tantrums for example, can only come from the space of stability, meaning that there has to be a certain ground on which one understands the other person. Only based on something solid and known, can the deeper exploration into the other’s character really take place, which is deeply fulfilling for all involved. There is always space for the spontaneity and exploration within stability of course. Women who men often call Mysterious and having that ‘interesting factor’ comes from inner stability.

2.   There is no single one look that all men find ideal! All this talk about looks for the past 10 weeks has revealed that the real truth is that one ideal look that all men go for just does not exist! That’s actually fantastic news for all of us, as it indicates that no matter what you look like, there is probably someone out there who will find you attractive, especially if you look after yourself and put your best foot forward. Before you choose your partner hence, you should ask yourself what kind of life you want with that ideal man even before he comes into your life. Our own lives, daily routines, eating habits, exercise, hobbies etc, in a nutshell a ‘life style’ are indicators of our relationships. Therefore, if you would like to have an active, fun relationship these are the traits that your life should have whilst you are single as well. So if you are naturally a couch potato, most likely your relationship will include less physical activity and more staying in time. Make sure to choose a partner who suits. Some women have the idea of a prince who will rescue them, and even though love does make you see the world in more beautiful colours for a time (that is why we all need love!) it is only temporary. If your relationship has had a transforming effect on you, it is only because it brought you closer to who you really are and that is the beauty of love and a reason why we should always remain open to receiving it.

3.   Roles are not set in stone. The interviews this week proved again that roles can be more fluid. These particular men are absolutely fine with being pursued. The feminist movement created the opportunities for us women to be on either side of that balanced equation. When we say masculine-feminine qualities, we do not mean that they are exclusively gender bound. Those days are gone. In fact the fluidity of gender roles in relationships is an added advantage. The aim therefore is to find that ideal balance between two people where one takes the more masculine role in some areas while the other takes the more feminine role. Finding the ideal balance for each couple in a relationship is part of reaching that ideal balance in general and is likely something that caring couples work on throughout the lifetime together.

Need help in creating the kind of life that yields to a happy relationship with someone that you love waking up to and that makes you smile? Join the next module of my current workshop next Tuesday 8pm. If you have questions about what we will cover and what you could learn, schedule a call with me to find out more.

Julia xx

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