How to connect to someone special over the holidays

Hey you,

It’s now almost the holiday time and people usually have mixed feeling about these holidays. Those with nice families or someone special to spend the holidays with are excited and looking forward to the special time together. Those for whom the holidays with family brought more drama than positivity, however, may have the opposite experience and may dread this holiday season almost as much as Scrooge once loathed it. I love watching my kids as the buildup to Christmas happens, each day excitedly opening up their Advent Calendars. There’s Chanukah too of course and eight days of celebration to look forward to and enjoy.
I believe that love and relationships is what  ultimately defines our quality of life. This includes any special relationship: be it with that someone special, family, friends, even coworkers. And for happy and meaningful life we need relationships filled with genuine, honest and sometimes embarrassingly open connection. So it doesn’t matter what our previous experiences have been; what matters are the relationships that we create in the present and the future.
Last week, I attended a funeral, an occasion so sad that no words can really describe it… I was saddened for the family, for the friends, the wife and child left behind… This experience really took me to a reflective place, elevating my sense of gratitude for everything that I have and the wonderful connections that I’ve made up to now. Tragic moments like these, have great invisible power to awaken us to the relationships we have in our life in the same way that this holiday season helps us see where the holes or bricks stand.
It’s times like these when we remember all the dear friends and family members we could have paid more attention to and who we let slip out of our lives because other things just got in the way. I also felt infinitely grateful for everyone with whom I shared great memories filled with connection. Unfortunately human nature means sometimes only realising what we had once it’s gone. There is only one thing we can do to remedy this: from time to time take the attention  away from our self-involved lives and spend more of it connecting with people around. This holiday season is an ideal opportunity for us to practice this.
So whichever of the two camps you sit in when it comes to the holidays — whether you dread them or you love and look forward to them — this is your opportunity to really open yourself up to connect with either someone special or with someone new who could become special, to connect with family and to reach out to friends and even improve that friendship.
Let’s allow these annual holidays and these festivities to remind us just how many connections we already have and just how special they are! Let us remember just how blessed we are even to be able to choose whether or not to celebrate when there are so many out there living in other parts of the world who even don’t have this choice to make.
I have a piece of advice for both camps, because I find that no matter whether you love the holidays or dread them there is always room for improvement (especially for those who find it stressful during this time). The very simple secret in improving your festivity experience lies in connecting fully to those around you.
I find that the combination of the following 3 things can work as the baby steps towards more positive and fulfilling connections.
1. Bring your best foot forward and be mentally and physically ready for Connection. This will take some perseverance, however, it is proven that any success one achieves, first and foremost comes from the desire to achieve it. If you truly see the necessity to connect to someone just be ready for it mentally. It means, yes that you might have to be more attentive and more tactile than you’re used to, but sometimes it’s precisely that getting out of our own comfort zone that makes the biggest difference.
2. Be brave and take advantage of opportunities. The most fun I usually end up having when at first I really didn’t feel like going somewhere. We have a tendency to presuppose how an event will unravel, predicting that we will or won’t enjoy like it. E.g. “aaah I know, I have to smalltalk to all these boring people I do not really find interesting “ or “aaah I just get so shy with these people”, or “I feel rather depressed, not in the to talk to anyone; its better for everyone if I just don’t go”. We presuppose, without giving the situation a chance, that it won’t be good and we talk ourselves out of even trying it. This means that if we do go, instead of coming with our best foot forward we sabotage ourselves even before we arrive. What you can do instead is the opposite. Instead of creating a negative outcome for the situation to come, we can create a positive one. Say yes to an invite (a party) and spend time imagining how great the party will be and how many wonderful people we’re likely to meet there. Then arrive with anticipation always looking for the positive that we seek.
3. Open up to people and be interested in them. Its people after all who create our word and who make it a better or worse place. The more interest you show in people, the more interesting things you’ll learn from them. If you are the kind of person who really stresses about social events and interactions, try to spend less time thinking of how others are reacting to you and instead spend time getting to know others by demonstrating genuine interest in them and asking questions that encourage them to open up about themselves. It may help to bring a friend on a similar mission so that you have someone to help you remain brave with you.
And if you feel like nobody wants to talk to you, just get over yourself and try chatting to any one person who looks friendly enough or alone enough to approach. That conversation will make you brave and will pave the way for another and another. Trust me, I’ve gone to many parties and events on my own where I know absolutely no one and these are often the ones where I met the most or the best people.
There is probably quite a lot more that I can say on the subject, but I’ll leave it for another time. Tune in for my Connection Series on my Facebook page @coachjuliakeller for many more tips on connecting and of course to my blog for upcoming videos on connecting over the holidays. My online series “Attract Authentic Love” also has a whole process teaching you how to connect and is now on the Christmas special so you can purchase it for less. And if you have more questions you can always book a free call with me here or contact us on any of our social media below.

Schedule a free call with me

Princess Dreams do come true & yours can too

If you have been looking for your Prince but have found yourself only kissing frogs, take heed and read on…
Even if you’ve been living under a rock the last couple of weeks, if you’re at all romantically minded, you would have noticed the news about the latest “notorious engagement” between England’s beloved Prince Harry and the American actress Meghan Markle. What makes this engagement particularly interesting to us today is the complete non-traditional nature of it. Not only is Meghan not British, not from the same society or background as Harry, but she is also a few years his senior and of a different race and skin colour. This is precisely why she has all of us hopeless romantics rooting for her!
The thing about watching a complete royal outsider on her way to becoming the next English Princess is that it makes us feel that we too can hope for something similarly amazing and miraculous. In truth, most of my clients don’t come with dreams of becoming a princess or even of marrying a prince. Mostly they just come with the hope of meeting someone who will even occasionally make them feel loved, cherished and princess like.
In truth, I myself never had any desires towards joining the royalty; but I do expect my leading man to treat me like his princess. And it is precisely just the fact of this expectation that leads me to always choose leading men who behave in a princely (aka: gentlemanly) fashion and who cherish, adore and spoil me. After all, I believe I deserve it and I treat myself with this kind of love as well — always taking care of my body, my health and my spirit — so I teach them by my own actions what is acceptable. To those who behave as I believe I deserve, I demonstrate my gratitude and appreciation by giving all of me (after all, a relationship means giving back as well as being able to accept with gratitude and appreciation). Because I prefer to be alone than with someone who treats me worse than I deserve, I am rarely if ever disappointed. After all, if you know that you deserve better leaving a less than adequate relationship should not be a challenge.
We are all worthy and deserving of finding our own unique “prince” who treats us like the “princess” we deserve to be. If you’ve been struggling to meet anyone who even comes close to being that special someone, perhaps it’s because you’re going about it the wrong way. Or possibly it’s because you yourself don’t believe that you are truly worthy of being a Princess. That’s why all of the work I do with clients begins with growing your self-value and your self-appreciation. That doesn’t mean that you have to be a perfectly finished product before you’re able to meet the person of your dreams (after all, we are all works in progress), but it does mean that you have to value yourself before you can expect anyone else to value you (and that includes your friends, your family and even your boss, along with that special someone).
So if you need help with this, you’ll be pleased to discover that both my book  and my online program  begin with that before moving onto specifics of how to help you meet your dream love. Have questions? Schedule your free 30 minute phone call here.

Workshop for men only: Man Up & Get The Woman You Want

Hey you,
Some months ago I ran a workshop at a private members’ club about attracting love into your life. Normally when I run these workshops, I am aim them towards women, as I began what I do working uniquely with women, and especially focusing on femininity. This time, however, when the organizer asked me if the workshop was for women only, I replied that I guessed both could come, not anticipating much interest from men on this topic.
To my surprise, however, the room was packed with men!. In fact, about 60% of the participants were men. I was shocked, and, to be honest, more than a little unprepared for such a turnout. I’d had a program for women lined up from the workshop; but I had absolutely nothing at all to offer to men at that point. Truthfully, I’d considered creating a workshop geared towards men, and I even had a title for it; but I hadn’t yet put it together or even considered the details of it.
At first I was nervous, wondering how the dynamics would be in this mixed talk. Apart from the big talks I spoke at for various events, like the Best You and the Mind Body Spirit festival, most of my smaller, more intimate talks were geared specifically towards women. But a few minutes into the workshop, I realised that I had nothing to worry about. Both men and women spoke openly about their issues in the dating world and actually helped to answer each other’s questions. Above all, I realised very quickly that men were just as confused and unhappy with the dating scene as women were and that both sexes were suffering from that same disappointment in their inability to make anything significant happen with the person they actually wanted to be with (or possibly even to meet this special person). Despite the fact that the energy in the room was great, I was saddened by the fact that both sexes somehow were suffering in the same way but still were unable to truly connect with each other. Something definitely had to be done and I wanted very much to help them.
Afterwards, I had a chance to chat to these wonderful men who I met during the workshop and to truly investigate what is it that men felt they needed help with when searching for love and what were the biggest obstacles they felt that they needed help and advice to tackle. After speaking with them, it became very clear that a workshop for men is definitely necessary as they certainly had quite a few questions about us women. Hence the upcoming workshop for men only “Man Up & Get The Woman You Want!” coming up in February. I am sending this newsletter to all of my mailing list, and not just men, because if you lovely ladies have some great guys you know who could use a few tips of how to be more successful with women, this workshop could be ideal for them, so please do spread the word.

For more information click here

My new program for £49 only plus a surprise!!

Have you had that nagging feeling that your love life just seems to be not how you imagined it should be and it’s starting to weigh down on you? Have you thought about wanting to change your life to finally have the kids of love situation that makes you wake up each morning smiling?

Maybe, though you know how different and better you want it to be, it seems that everytime you think of doing something about it, a million other things start to happen and changing your life for the better gets buried under so many other obligations and bits and piece that seem to need to be dealt with first.

Well, if you believe in signs, then take this as one. This friday is Black Friday and I am, for the first time ever (and possibly the last), joining the many other businesses with a Black Friday special offering just for you! Even though we just recently launched the Attract Authentic Love online product this month (normally valued at £199) for 72 hours only (until midnight this Sunday) you can buy this program for just £49! That is by far the most incredible offer ever!

But that’s not all! I’m also offering (literally only until Sunday) a 20% discount on my Love Blueprint Session and my coaching packages. To find out more book a call with me here.

Remember to take advantage of this amazing offer before Sunday! There’s also a very special added gift for the first 20 to take advantage of this offer (your first gift for Christmas). To find out more click here.

Traditional values are still the healthiest

Hi there,

If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ve probably heard me speak about traditional  values with a modern twist quite a lot. So what does it mean exactly?

Well what I mean by traditional values with a modern twist are values that consider marriage as something that relationships can potentially develop towards. These values also believe that women are stronger by allowing themselves to be feminine, empowering their man to be a better man for her by being feminine in his presence and by encouraging him softly, sensually, and warmly to treat them how they want to be treated (no nagging necessary); while men should allow themselves to be gentlemen who lead and who protect and provide for the woman they feel for, while also treating her with respect and caring.

The idea behind these values is to move towards a focus on valuing oneself, actually connecting with someone special for real, so that it lasts long-term and to move away from meaningless very short-term passing relationships. If we take tradtional values to be marriage, self preservation, femininity and feeling good long-term, then I stand for all of these because this kind of relationship is the healthiest and will have us be the healthiest within it.

It’s true that marriage as an institution has changed. The other day I watched Esther Perel’s talk on “the secret to desire in a long term relationship” as she articulated very well just how the modern day marriage has become what a whole village used to be for a wife. Let me explain, while in the past marriage was an economic arrangement, either agreed by the parents of the couple to wed or chosen as the most suitable prospect without really knowing the person, actual love was to be sought elsewhere. Basically, the husband and wife relationship was that of honour and respect a  father to her children type of situation, while a best friend, your secret keeper, your partner in crime, your sexual lover, your soulmate, your sense of belonging had to be looked for elsewhere.

In the past each and every single role was acted out by a number of different people: your maid might have been your secret keeper, your close friend your partner in crime, the experience of love was most likely sought with another lover and real passion might have remained in a never fulfilled relationship of distant eye flirting with the writer of the village.

Modern day marriage, however, has us entering into huge expectations of what we’d like our ideal spouse to be for us, and they are expectations which are truly difficult to fulfill fully. We now want to take all of these things and put them into one person and share that for the rest of our lives: our spouse now has to be our best friend, our ideal sexual partner, our soulmate, the person who makes us grow, the person who gives us identity, the person who shares our values, the person who will make us be the best version of ourselves and the person who will go crazy for us till death do us part. Yes, marriage has become very hard BECAUSE we invest and expect so much from our spouse. We invest not only financial stability, we invest totality of our being and above all our identity and livelihood.

Therefore when marriages crash we feel that we crashed with them!

You might be wondering whats the positive of this rather bleak development of a marriage? Well, as we know the positives are plenty! Though the expectations are raised significantly, so has the reward. Marriages today are actually built (at least in the majority of the free world) on love and camaraderie. Rather than just having our spouse play one role in our lives, we actually WANT this person to be someone we spend time with and get to know. Sexuality within a marriage has overall improved as well. The safety of the marriage commitment should allow us to be more open and free with one another. Honesty within marriage (though not always the case as we know) is something most of us hope and strive for.

We have finally realised that what makes life worth living and what gives it meaning is love: love for the other person, love for ourselves, love for our work (something most of us want to develop), love for our children and love for our friends and family and those we allow close to our hearts. Love requires authenticity. In order to allow ourselves to love freely we must first be honest with our hearts to understand who we are and what we feel. We have reached a stage of what 20th century existential philosophers spent most of their time talking about: a stage of demanding and understanding the value of authenticity.

Authenticity brings dignity to oneself and life lived in a dignified manner brings meaning and value. Thats is why I argue for the benefit of marriage as it can result in that dignified life. My definition of marriage is that of a modern understanding: demanding all of these things to be in one person, struggle through them together and no matter how hard and complex it might get, simply be honest with one another.

I would love to hear your views on marriage. What do you think makes it work? Do you have any good examples? Please share with us on our social media below.

And if you want to Attract Authentic Love into your life, sign up for our self study program here or book a free 30 minute call with Julia to discuss how she can help you to write your ideal love story.

You can watch Esther’s talk here:

From Journey To Destination

Hey there!

Lately, I’ve been speaking quite a bit about my Attract Authentic Love Self Study Program, which officially launched this Sunday. But there’s a good reason for this: like with the writing of my Attract Authentic Love book, it’s been a big journey for me to create it and I have learned so much from this journey.

Stay tuned as next week I shall tell you about why traditional values in the modern day world still work, but for this week I want to use the opportunity to disclose to you, in full honesty, why I think we need such programs to be more available for women and how I came to create this. After reading the article, you can get even more insight into the program by watching the video below.

I began my career as a Love Coach for women only because it was my first passion to help women to truly value themselves and to expect others to treat them with value and respect. It’s still incredible to me that women who are amazing tend to undervalue themselves, while most men actually overvalue themselves. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that men should value themselves less, but simply that we as women need to learn to value ourselves better and to be treated with value and respect. That said, I also believe very strongly that we benefit from allowing ourselves to be feminine and to tap into our natural sensuality.

Hence, I believe that women can be both feminine and assertive and that assertiveness and strength (and expecting to be treated with value and respect) does not mean acting masculine and sacrificing what is naturally so beautiful about being a woman: our femininity. In fact, it is in allowing ourselves to tap into who we really are where we feel best about ourselves. And that is the idea behind this program: to help women to realise just how incredible and special each and every single one of us really is and to teach you to show that to the world and to approach the world of love knowing and expecting that your special someone is going to discover how amazing you really are and love you for it.

I like you once stood in a completely different place, in a totally different frame of mind, and at a crossroads. I had enough bad dates and disappointments, after my divorce, to have given up completely on love, but something deep inside told me to keep going, and there came a crisis moment of almost breaking, after which everything changed. I know that if I could change my frames of mind and my life with it — if  I could wake up in the morning and feel good amidst a series of bad life situations surrounding me — then anyone could! 

And the big secret is that when you change your mind, your whole life changes with it! Today, my life is incredible and I am grateful for every moment, even the less desired ones of difficulty and pain that still come (as for everyone). But today I know that every obstacle has a reason and a path of learning to take with it, and so I welcome it as it signifies that I’m on the right path.

What I want to do with this program is to simply help spread the word that a HAPPY AND FULL LIFE IS POSSIBLE!  You don’t have to choose to find it through work with me, but you should choose to be happy and to pursue that happiness whichever way speaks to you! Remember that finding fulfilling love and living a fulfilling life IS A CHOICE and you make a choice to move towards or away from it every day.

More often that not, what troubles women the most is that coming helpless hopelessness: that loss of hope of ever finding that special someone who will see them as special too and who will adore them for who they truly are. Often, the hopelessness comes from not knowing what to do to change their set of circumstances. That’s why I created this program: to help you to change your circumstances so that you too can be one half of that ideal pair you watch strolling together looking happily in love. I see many women who have completely lost hope in ever feeling loved and finding love that they succumb to the a life that they believe a single woman has to live, but which leaves them feeling lonely. I also see women who obviously keep dreaming of finding a perfect match that is always somehow just that bit out of reach that time passes them by while they linger in bitter disappointment. 

Since I’ve worked with both kinds of women, I know that feeling of misery and despair is a friend to both categories … and unfortunately because they stay in it and don’t change their circumstances, they invariably choose to be as unhappy as they are. They can blame their ex-partners for the pain they’ve caused them, their parents for making them feel alienated or unloved, their friends for overshadowing them, their looks, their weight, etc… The truth is that if you want to put the fault for living a life you don’t love on someone or something else, it’s always easy to find an object of blame. But it is only when you take full responsibility for your actions and your life that you can truly choose to change it.

So here is what I hope for you: what I want to happen is simple — I want once unhappy women who have become happy to tell other unhappy women that happiness is possible and is reachable and to inspire them to take responsibility for their lives and start acting!

And here’s what I’m offering: Because I really believe in this mission to help women to value themselves and to find true love, I’m going to extend my pre-launch price for another week so that you can still take advantage of the incredible 50% price discount which will be disappearing very soon. So if you want to truly CHANGE YOUR LIFE AND FIND TRUE LOVE, click here.

ATTRACT AUTHENTIC LOVE program launching on Sunday!!!

Hi there,
Have you ever felt frustrated that you just can’t seem to meet someone you really like?
Well five years ago that was me? Recently divorced and a single mom, I’d just had the worst dating year of my life. The men I wanted were either nowhere to be found or not interested in me. The men who did show interest (who I have to admit I gave a chance to occasionally in my desperation) were as far as possible from who I actually imagined myself being with. I was stuck and I felt stuck.
Then in what seemed like a quick moment, everything changed. Fast forward several years and I have my choice of wonderful, brilliant men who I could choose between. Though I am still a single mom and still divorced, and even though I am actually older, I am suddenly the owner of my own love journey and suddenly the journey is an exciting one filled with passion and adventure.
So what did I do to get here? Well it’s all detailed for you in my “Attract Authentic Love” self-study program which will be launching this Sunday. But if you want to be one of the final few to still benefit from my pre-launch price (a savings of £100 off the post-launch price), you can book by this Sunday.
If you want more information or have any questions, you can schedule a free 30 minute call with me here. Or you can read more about the program and purchase it at the pre-launch price here.
Here’s my video telling you a bit more about the program and how I created it.

Want to meet someone who shares your life view?

Do you sometimes feel that though you occasionally do meet people who are ok, you struggle to meet that one special person who actually shares your outlook on life? Maybe the people you meet just look at the world differently? Or maybe you feel that not one of them really “gets you” as you think differently.

This past weekend I spoke and exhibited at the Mind Body Soul conference and Yoga Show at Alexandra Palace. It was an amazing weekend filled with so many different people all there with a parallel higher life purpose and mission to meet others of a similar mindset. I presented a talk called “Find love at any age in three proven steps”. For those who couldn’t be there, you can catch a small glimpse of the talk on our Facebook page:

During and after the talk many of those who came asked me just that question: how can they find that special someone who shares their world view and outlook on life? During the event, many women and men came to me to discuss that exact struggle. It is clear that in today’s society, we are more likely to search, and less likely to find, that person who really and truly suits us: that real authentic love. So does that mean we’re doomed to either settle or roam the world alone?

Well, as someone tuned into the world of love at all levels, I am constantly looking for examples of success in relationships. So I took the opportunity of the Mind Body Soul event to conduct some personal research of my own and I spoke to some incredible couples who were together and who were in fact on that same life journey together. So how did they find one another and end up together? Well that will be the subject of one of my upcoming events, and an upcoming free YouTube video with some tips of how you too can find that person who shares your life path, so stay tuned. In order to see these videos first, subscribe to our YouTube channel (for free), by clicking the link here
And if you are ready to Attract Authentic Love into your life right now, you can still sign up for my 6 week self study program at the special pre-launch price (of a savings of £100) until our launch in early November. Hurry as this special offer is only available for a short while longer…

Check out the Self Study Program

The  Attract Authentic Love Program Launching In
In case you missed last week’s newsletter,  you can watch the video here

What’s keeping you single?

Have you ever wondered if there’s something you’re doing that’s keeping you single?

Well five years ago that was me? Recently divorced and a single mom, I’d just had the worst dating year of my life. The men I wanted were either nowhere to be found or not interested in me. The men that showed interest (who I have to admit I gave a chance to occasionally in my desperation) were as far as possible from who I actually imagined myself being with. I was stuck and I felt stuck.

Then in what seemed like a quick moment, everything changed. Fast forward several years and I had my choice of wonderful, brilliant men who I could choose between. Though I was still a single mom and still divorced, and even though I was actually older, I was suddenly the owner of my own love journey and suddenly the journey was an exciting one filled with passion and adventure.

So what did I do to get there? Well it’s all detailed for you in my “Attract Authentic Love” self-study program which will be launched next month. But if you don’t want to wait until then, you could be one of the early Love life changers chosen to beta test this incredible six week program and at an incredible savings of £200 off the launch price!

If you want more information or have any questions, you can schedule a free 30 minute call with me here. Or you can read more about the program and purchase it at the intro price here.

Oh and if you want to find out what you’re doing wrong that maybe is keeping you single, read this article that Cosmopolitan asked me to write with the top “5 reasons why you haven’t found the one yet”:

Are you choosing the “Highest Bidder” rather than waiting for the “Right Bidder”?

Are you choosing the “highest bidder” rather than waiting for the “right bidder”?

In last week’s newsletter (you can read it again here if you missed it) I spoke about an attitude that some women, who often find themselves alone, have that I call “going for Mr. Impossible”. In a nutshell, I explained how searching for Mr. Impossible can sometimes be a defense mechanism saving you from getting hurt in a relationship by avoiding getting close to anyone or getting into a relationship at all. These women prefer to avoid relationships rather than to risk being hurt.

On the other side of the coin are women who want to avoid being alone at all costs and so constantly find themselves selling themselves short. These women prefer to be with anyone who chooses them rather than risk being alone. If you find yourself constantly jumping in and out of relationships, but rarely staying in any for long, you may be guilty of constantly going for the highest bidder rather than taking the time to wait for the right bidder to come along.

There are different reasons why we choose to jump from relationship to relationship, rather than choosing to wait for the right person to come along and I explain this further, as well as how to change it, in the video below. The issue often boils down to us undervaluing ourselves and to being afraid that the person we really want to be with is either not out there or won’t ever come along. So, rather than having faith and believing that we can meet the one we want, we accept the best one of those who want us.

While that may sound reasonable, what it leads to is the “Runaway Bride” type of relationship (named for the Julia Roberts & Richard Gere followup film to “Pretty Woman”) where we start out excited about the person we’re with and the new relationship only to soon grow disillusioned and disappointed when we realize that the person doesn’t quite live up to the expectations that we had of him. This constant accepting of the highest bidder then becomes a pattern that we follow regularly, constantly finding ourselves disappointed with the man we are with because he isn’t really what we want. Unfortunately it also means that we hurt quite a lot of men in the process and rarely end up waiting for the one we really want as we’re constantly settling for the “good enough for now” version.

So is this better than being alone? The problem with this attitude is of course that we devalue ourselves neglecting to take the necessary time to understand what we really seek and to find the relationship that is a truly good long-term fit for us.

Watch my video below, how I explain this phenomenon, and what I suggest you can do to change it. If this resonates with you, schedule a free 30 min call with me to discuss your patterns and how to break them.

Searching For Mr.Impossible? Why that’ll leave you lonely and how to retune your picker.

Do you sometimes feel that the man you’re looking for just isn’t out there? Do you find yourself constantly disappointed on dates because no man seems to measure up to what you’re after? Well the problem could be you and what you’re after. As a Love Coach, I meet many women who are searching for what one of my clients coined as “Mr Impossible” – in other words, the man who doesn’t actually exist. Sometimes, this tendency is due to what these days seems like the “something always better around the corner” epidemic caused by dating apps that make you feel like there are always loads of easy options, thereby leading us never to be happy with the one we have. I too have been known to be guilty of this from time to time. From my observation, however, searching for Mr Impossible can also be due to the fear of actually finding someone and having to make it work. I know it’s a strange fear, but not an uncommon one in this society where many of us tend to be overly perfectionistic (so why not be perfectionist about looking for a partner as well).

Think about it – searching for Mr Impossible creates the illusion that you are so much more amazing that most men are worthy of and allows you to believe yourself to be unlucky never to find your suitable soul mate. It allows you to place yourself higher giving you a reason to avoid actually opening up to someone, really getting to know them, and possibly giving a relationship a try. Opening up to someone and letting them get to know you enough to hurt you is scary after all. What if they don’t like you and end up rejecting you? Allowing yourself to feel something for someone is one of the most frightening and most exciting things you can do after all. Nothing compares to the adventure of falling in love, and the ups and downs that could potentially go along with that adventure could be truly frightening. Taking a chance of a relationship that may work or may fail is placing yourself in a vulnerable position, which your subconscious might be telling you is not a good idea out of fear. You might think you really want love, and you feel lonely and the desire is honest, but the fear is honest too and fear has amazing ability to take away the power of your decision making. On the positive side, by realising that you are keeping yourself lonely out of fear, and taking ownership of this, you have the power to change it.

Once you take ownership of your fear, and of the role you are playing in your loneliness, you actually empower yourself to make the dramatic changes required to make a huge difference in your personal life. To learn how to step out of “Searching for Mr Impossible” syndrome, watch the video here.

Ready to find Mr Right and to stop searching for Mr Impossible, and feel you need some help in figuring out how? My new Self-Study Program will take you through the proven Three Step Process to Attract Authentic Love into your life. Want to get the program at an incredible low pre-launch price? Click here to book even before we launch! Feel that you need more personalized help throughout the process? Click here to book a 30 minute call with Julia to discuss how she can help you with your specific issue.

5 reasons you have not found the one (and what to do about it)

Are you thinking that’s a rather bold title? Well it’s the title of my recent article for the Cosmopolitan online magazine. In my career of love coaching I have developed a habit, which now has become a skill, to observe and narrow down the problems faced by my clients looking for love to some key issues as to why they have, up to now, been unable to find that love.

In this Cosmopolitan article, I pick the 5 most common patterns that work as hurdles for women to getting that love life that they want and give some quick fixes as to how to change this.

I’m sure you’ll have plenty of questions after reading this article, as well as a renewed desire to find that love you crave, so I’m soon to offer you more ways to get those questions answered.

First of all, you can find many answers in my book “Attract Authentic Love”, (here is the link to get it on Amazon) which highlights the three proven steps I use with many clients to bring that ideal love into their lives. You can also get some insight into how I work with clients on a one to one basis by booking a free call with me on the link below.

And coming very soon, you’ll be able to get many answers at a fraction of the price of my one to one coaching, by using my new self-study program and shortly coming group coaching program as well. Any questions about any of this can be answered by booking a free call with me and stay tuned for special offers available for followers of this mailing list and my social media only.

10 Minutes To Femininity

Btw most Mondays I stream live “10 minutes to femininity”, showing you how it does not take long or much effort to delve into that femininity that makes you more attractive to men. It’s a quick tip video about all the different aspects of femininity, including interviews with some experts. All brought to you live on Facebook on my page @coachjuliakeller. Enjoy and let us know by your comments if there’s anything specific that you’d like us to talk about.

The time to take control of your love life is now!

If you’ve been single for a while, and you don’t want to be, you’ve
probably gone through several times of feeling lonely and unhappy
about your situation. In periods where couples out there are more
obvious than ever — such as certain holidays like Christmas, New
Year’s, and Valentine’s Day, or even during the warmer seasons — you
may feel even worse than usual.

Sometimes when the situation has you so frustrated, you may even
finally have enough urgency to change it to seek out the help of
experts out there. There are certainly many books about empowerment,
self love, dating rules, 10 steps to this and that, etc out there. And
yet you may have read many of them and still be in as bad a situation
as ever.

Like you, I also was once frustrated and feeling lonely, after my
divorce. At one point, I came to a point of such strong desire to
change that I took action to change my situation. I’d read many of
these books by that point, along with books on achieving whatever it
was that I desired in life. I began to use the skills I learned and
tried out one by one what the books and courses told me. Some worked
better than others and I began to see a pattern that led to success
and a pattern that led away from it. When I acted or thought in the
way that brought success, things improved. When I acted or thought in
a way that went against it, things got worse again. Soon, I’d realised
what exactly worked and I began to test it out on others who were in
the same situation as I’d been and who wanted my help and were happy
to have me experiment with them. Success came to them too and before
long, Coaching certificate and NLP studies in hand, I’d made Love
Coaching into my full-time career. In fact, things went so well that
my Love Coaching practice became more and more busy and I kept raising
prices regularly.

Because I saw that what I’d put together really worked, and I wanted
to help more people than I could in my One to One practice, I began
coaching groups and giving talks. But I still wanted to share what I’d
learned and what worked with more of the world. So I wrote a book
entitled “Attract Authentic Love” sharing my Authentic Love
methodology in as succinct a way as I could in a book written mainly
for women. Because so many men also bought my book, I decided to write
a book dedicated to helping men too (which I’m working on now). Many
of the women who read my book contacted me asking me for more help and
information. But my One to One Love Coaching practice could only take
so many clients, and I’d raised my prices a couple of times since
then. I also wanted to make this work accessible to all women — even
those who couldn’t afford my One to One coaching.

If you watched my interview with Ruth last week  (watch it here if you
haven’t already), you would have heard me mentioning the Self Study
Group that I am launching. I don’t want to give out too much yet, but
this program was created with women like you in mind in a grand first
attempt to make the Authentic Love methodology, that has seen such
amazing results with my clients, available to all women who want to
Attract Authentic Love into their lives.

Here is a small snippet from the program encompassing the overall
approach I have to coaching and especially to coaching intended to
loving yourself and finding a partner to share rest of your life with.

This program is particularly designed to bring that balance between
learning theory (and channeling in what you want in your life) and
practice (going out and getting it).

Btw most Mondays I stream live “10 minutes to femininity”, showing you
how it does not take long or much effort to delve into that femininity
that makes you more attractive to men. It’s a quick tip video about
all the different aspects of femininity, including interviews with
some experts. All brought to you live on Facebook on my page
@coachjuliakeller. Enjoy and let us know by your comments if there’s
anything specific that you’d like us to talk about.

Calling all lonely men out there!

Hey there!

While I’ve done some amazing work with helping women to find and
improve their love stories since I started Love Coaching, I initially
resisted taking on male clients. However, as my Love Coaching practice
kept growing, more and more men kept coming to me asking for help.
Initially, I began with accepting just a few male clients that begged
me for help, or that I saw could really use my advice to help them to
understand what women want and need better and how to find that love
they sought. After a while, however, more and more men began coming —
either by learning about me and my work through friends or by finding
me on google or at events I spoke at.

In fact, many men even bought my book on attracting love created with
women readers in mind, “Attract Authentic Love”. Such a significant
number of my books went to men, in fact, that I’m now working on a
version of the book specifically for men (out next year). I’ll also be
launching a group coaching program for men by Christmas (stay tuned
for more details on this). For now, however, I’ve opened up my One to
One coaching to accept certain male clients who meet certain specific
criteria (inquire here by booking a free 30 minute assessment call
with me).

Some of the male clients who have worked with me shared their
testimonials. You can read them on our website here
and we’ve also included some for you below as well.

For the women reading this, you may have a single male friend,
brother, father, uncle, etc that you believe would love to find love
but is lost as to what to do in this current dating minefield and how
to go about it. Have them book a free phone call with me on the link
above to find out if they’re suitable for my coaching.

“In a few short years the rules of dating had changed, and I no longer
had the rule book.  Julia has helped me understand just what those
rules are and just exactly what I need to do in order to attract the
sort of woman I want to be with long term; she has helped me
understand what a woman wants from a man and I have found that to be
invaluable “ Martin

“What I liked about Julia were her insights into human nature. You
could say that she has an old head on young shoulders! She explained
that with simple changes of approach in one’s behaviour, results can
follow. They did!”

“Julia is one of those rare women who has real observed insight into
human nature and how people think and react and knows how to explain
it to others. She was able to explain how women think and work in a
way I would never be able to comprehend on my own as women have always
been a mystery to me. With her help, I was able to tap into the
mysterious mind of a woman I really liked in order to understand what
she wanted and needed from me. The results were incredible! Now I’m a
very happy man in love!”
Anonymous man

Book testimonial

“Men can gain insight into how women think about relationships from
this excellent, practical book. Julia Keller has walked the talk in
her personal life, so she is an authentic guide to help women (and
men) find a partner perfect for them.” Christopher

Interview with Liberty Coach Ruth Carter

Hey you,

As a Love Coach, something I strongly believe in is collaboration and it’s something that I do often. As one of my personal philosophies is approaching the world with Love, I look to collaborate with other professionals who also share this heart-centred approach.

Hence I am proud to introduce my friend, Ruth, a Liberty Coach, who works with youth and their parents and schools. Ruth works to help youths to improve self-esteem and how they relate to each other and the world around them, also helping parents, carers, and teachers to better relate to the youths they care for. I interviewed Ruth recently on her work and am sharing her insightful interview here.

It’s always amazing to hear another inspiring story of a successful woman, and Ruth’s own story is amazing! Ruth’s insightful experience with working with youths is a learning experience for all who have relationships with young people. She says “the bullies are the one’s that have most of the issues”.

Ruth Carter is The Liberty Coach, a Therapeutic Coach for Children, Young People, Parents and Teachers. She specialises in Child & Adolescent Studies and undertakes research on Self-Esteem, Confidence and Academic Attainment. She is also the Bedfordshire Area Programme Manager for schools and for the past 3 years has been facilitating Behaviour Change Courses to students in Year 6 – 11, to increase self-esteem and confidence with NLP.

Love at the time of Tinder: are dating apps making Londoners more lonely ?

Hey there,

Recently, I’ve been paying more attention than ever to the dire statistics on relationships showing us that more and more households are occupied by singles in this decade than any before. Less than a week ago The Telegraph published an article highlighting this new rise in loneliness. It’s no wonder why as a Transformational Love Coach, I’m more busy than ever these days after the publishing of my first two books: my guide on how to find true love, Attract Authentic Love and an Amazon best-selling chronology of 20 female coaches writing very openly about our personal love stories and lessons learned along the way: Love Unboxed.

Over the course of time, there have always existed different opportunities for singles to meet each other. What began with singles columns in newspapers soon turned into online dating sites. Now, the online dating sites have been adapted for our busy and easily-distracted culture in the form of different dating apps. As a Love Coach, I try to stay informed as to what’s out there to help singles meet each other and how to make it work best for my clients. So it’s no surprise that one of my most popular sessions is in helping clients to create a dating app profile that really works to get noticed and teaching them how to communicate and basically “work it”. This has proved very popular with both women and men who are struggling to figure out how to meet that someone special in this busy world of expectation and easily-distracted attention spans.

Because of my belief that we can really meet someone anywhere if we just approach the situation with the right attitude and with openness and interest, I was especially interested when I was contacted by a 20 something University student writing an article about how dating apps were were making Londoners more lonely. I was curious about how someone so young could already be struggling with finding love. Interestingly, my clients at the same time were becoming younger. Where I began working mostly with female clients over 35 and male clients over 45, suddenly both women and men under 30 began contacting me for help in finding love. Somehow, I hadn’t expected finding love to be such a struggle already at such a young age. It started me wondering how I can help change this to help more people of any age to find true love. My self-study program (to be launched in July) was the beginning of my attempt to combat this. So is my offer to speak pro-bono to any group of young people (especially young women or high school or university aged girls) in order to help spread the word of the importance of self-value and self-love as a first step towards finding true love. I also encourage anyone who works in organisations with battered women or with people really needing to learn to love themselves to contact me.

I also would like to share with you this interview I gave to the young journalist who spent a lot of time looking into whether dating apps are making Londoners more lonely? I know that many of my readers and clients hold strong opinions regarding dating apps and their efficacy, whether for or against. While I don’t necessarily agree that dating apps can be blamed for our current “age of loneliness” — and I have personally witnessed many clients find love using dating apps — I do see them as a symptom of our low attention spans, our hurried inattentive business, and our belief that there’s always something better around the corner. Perhaps this big change in our culture, which then means we change lovers more quickly and don’t work on or value something potentially good, is really what’s to blame for much of our loneliness. Well that and our lack of understanding of how to find love in the first place. My self-study program includes a module on how to create a dating app profile that gets you attention quickly from the kind of person that you want attention from. But it also includes modules on improving self-love and self-value — as all of these are key towards finding true love.
To read the article about love and Tinder in the modern age, click here:


Hi There,
As you’ve probably noticed, the rules of dating, love, and relationships have been changing significantly in our modern times. I have both women and men too coming to me after events I speak at asking me about how to tackle the dating world with all of these new and different rules. Both sexes are equally lost and confused, so I spend a lot of time talking about what I like to call “traditional values with a modern twist”. Interestingly, I’m not the only one who’s noticed how much more complicated dating is today and how important developing self-confidence and self-love is to finding and creating that ideal relationship.

Another NLP Expert and Coach, Jimmy Petruzzi, who regularly interviews experts for his YouTube program, sought me out to speak specifically about this area. I thought you may enjoy it so am sharing with you here.

Hope you enjoy it and if you have any questions about coaching or NLP you can schedule a free 30 minute call with me here.

How to Pick Up a Stranger on During Your Way Home

“Some months ago during a normal busy commute home, as I was standing waiting for a seat to come free, I locked eyes with an attractive man in front of me”

Do you feel that the commute to and from work is lonely and empty and wrought with strangers who barely catch each other’s eye? Do you ever spot an attractive stranger on the way and wish you knew how to meet him?

Being a Love Coach with a growing business, I now often get asked to write articles for other sites and magazines. This month we bring you one of these, in case you haven’t seen it already, on a site called Digital Romance. This one happens to answer that question of how to meet that special person on your way back from work. Hope you enjoy and please leave us a comment if it helps.


If you want a guide of how to attract amazing love into your life, you can start with my book “Attract Authentic Love” available now. Here’s the link. For deeper help specific to you, book a free 30 minute call to find out more about my one to one coaching. And stay tuned for my upcoming launch of my online self-study product and group coaching program.

Create The Relationship That You Absolutely LOVE!

Hey you,

Are you like so many people out there just wishing to have that ideal relationship but not really knowing exactly how to get it?

Well, if that’s you, then you’ll be as excited as I am about this information which has the transformational power to change your love life for the better (and I mean MUCH better)! So keep reading!

Julia BannerYou see, I was recently invited to speak at an exciting event as a contributor amongst 25+ leading relationship experts on helping you hack the main principles to a passionate and dynamite family and relationship life! What makes this exciting for me is that I get to share this with you and others in my community for FREE.

It is a special treat for you that will radically change the way you view what’s possible for you and your loved one (guaranteed).

Click Here to Access this for FREE

The Relationship Mastery Series is an Online Event, so you get to enjoy it at your pace in a comfortable setting. This online event features 25+ of the world’s leading experts (including yours truly) who are completely giving away their time and knowledge for YOU because we really believe that the key to a happier and more fulfilling life is through having that happy and fulfilling relationship!

Here are just a few of the topics speakers will be covering:

–       How to find that incredible partner for you

–   How to ignite a deeper, soulful connection with your partner

–       Favorite secrets to keeping the sex life ALIVE

–       Strategies to manage conflicts

–       And much more

But you know what the best part is?

Because you’ve been such a loyal and true follower and friend to me, and such an amazing supporter of the work that I do, you are now eligible for an exclusive invitation to register for the summit… for FREE!

All you have to do to reserve your seat is to go to this link:

Get Instant Access to The Relationship Mastery Series

 And it will cost you exactly nothing if you join NOW!

I’ll see you inside.

To your dream life realized,


P.S. This is the ‘Dream Family 101’ class all of us wish existed years ago… except now it does! You’re not going to want to miss this opportunity…

And after you listen to the interview with me and so many other amazing experts, when you’ll have some outstanding questions, you’ll be able to book a free Love Tune Up call with me at this link to find out more about how I can help

The Art of Manifesting Love – Once More

Hey there,
Some time ago, when I was first starting out in my love coaching career, I had come upon the realization of the power of manifesting what you want into your life. I was able to use this power to manifest in so many wonderful things into my life so I was filled with the excitement of just how potent this ability to manifest was.
Seeing the miracles take flight in my own life, I wanted to share this amazing ability with everyone. And I tried to. I wrote articles, I tried to teach it to my clients, and I spoke about it basically to anyone who would listen. But I soon came upon a common hurdle: doubt.
You see, attracting anything into your life — whether love, or money, or just a happier life — requires faith. And I was new then to this article thing of inspiring others and I didn’t yet know how to inspire faith.
You may be sitting in that place of doubt now. You may be watching the days celebrating love come and go with dread.

Valentine’s Day has come and passed, bringing with it that crystal clear sentiment of feeling more single if we’re single. Spring is here and soon summer, bringing in picnics, couples sitting together at outside tables, walking hand in hand through parks, and kissing in full view. We live in a world these days that doesn’t allow us to sit and wallow for long. Work, life, and the everyday get in the way. But if you’re single, and you don’t want to be single, then that feeling of being singled out isn’t one that disappears.

 In fact, it’ll come back to haunt you in those unexpected moment. You’re on a tube or a bus and you see a happy couple leaning against each other. You’re in a restaurant with friends and you see another happy couple holding hands on the table and stealing kisses from each other when they think no one is watching. You’re walking in the park and there’s a couple walking together happily flirting and giggling with one another like two teenagers. And then it happens. That creeping feeling that you don’t want to let in, that you’ve spent all this time keeping out, that you’ve filled with whatever you can to try and suffocate it; it comes creeping back in. And it sounds something like this: “Why don’t I have somebody special in my life? What is it about her that makes her lovable that I’m missing? Why doesn’t anyone love me like that?”

I’ve been on both sides of that couple equation (both in he couple the one watching envious from outside) so I know how badly it can feel to be without, especially when you know what you’re missing.

The thing about love is that it is out there and available to all of us, just like sustenance of any kind. Whatever higher being you believe in – which I’ll just call The Universe for now – it wants us all to find what we’re after. It wants our success and it desires our happiness. Then the question of all time arises: Why is it that some people find happiness, love, financial security and success…; while others don’t?

Ever since I began coaching clients on improving their love lives some time back, I have tried to isolate the key ingredients that some possess that ensures that they are successful in love. Even with my clients, I’ve seen some find success immediately, while others take longer to understand and act on the principles that I teach them. In my quest to understand what works, I began to watch and question the women who I find successful and to dissect what makes them that way. I also conducted some very candid interviews with men which I put on my YouTube channel.

But other than all of these clear ingredients which I’ve learned about, I’ve also discovered a key principle which I’m now sharing with my current clients to unbelievable success: I call it The Art of Attracting Authentic Love and my book “Attract Authentic Love” is now published and can be bought on Amazon and other bookstores.

I have seen this principle work clearly in my own life over the years: both for my career and for my love life. I have also seen how forgetting about the principle, and ignoring some of the rules of success, led to long moments of lack. As happens to many people, the feeling of lack then increases inside me that lack which then surfaces in life as more of that lacking. If I would allow myself to get stuck and sink into that feeling, that would then have the effect of further eroding my life. Believe me, I’ve been there and I’ve done that. Luckily, however, this distance from the life I want to live would serve eventually to wake me up into pursuing what I want once again, and I would reconnect with the principles and bring my life back in order and flowing in the right direction.

All of us will go through moments of emptiness, moments of unhappiness with our lives, moments of feeling alone in our journey and realising that we don’t want to be alone. The trick is to use that feeling of dissatisfaction to propel us forward, and not as an excuse to wallow and to sink into the beckoning unhappiness. It is always easier to complain, to sit at home and moan about how poor the options of great men out there are while sinking a spoon into a pot of ice cream and watching a chick flick on our own (or whatever your poison). It’s much more difficult to come to grips with the fact that we’re unhappy and to do something about it finally. I’ve had clients that I met for the first time a year before they decided to finally sign up and do something about their lives. Now after almost two years of helping clients to Attract Authentic Love into their lives, I have clients coming to me rather than having to look for them. I am very grateful for this change. It means that I can really help those who are ready to help themselves.

Sometimes it takes many years to be ready to change; after all, change isn’t easy. Some clients I met at the beginning of my coaching  weren’t yet ready to work for what they wanted; they weren’t yet ready to leave victim mode behind. At that time, though my prices were low, they seemed too high because they were still in a place of complaining and wallowing. Months later, however, something shifted and they realised that they didn’t want to be alone anymore and that they were finally ready to do something about it. By that point, my prices had increased, but they were ready to act and so they paid without hesitation. I have unlimited patience for people to be ready to act, because I know that until they’re ready, I can’t really help them. Thanks to this realisation, I’ve now implemented a short call where I check if clients are really the kind of client that I want to work with and that I feel I can help in ensuring a success story for. Now I only take clients who are truly ready to begin their journey to a better love life, and the results achieved are profound.

Without darkness, there can never be light. Without failure, there can never be success. Without obstacles in our way, we can never feel that incredible feeling of successfully surpassing them. If you are ready to begin your journey towards a better love life, I am here to help you get there. For those that qualify, I offer a way forward. I’ll soon be launching a Self-study online product and following that a group workshop (both in-person and online). For now, you have my book to get you started. I’m so sure that this info will help you to achieve the love life you want, that I’m entering everyone who reads the book and writes us a rave review on Amazon into our raffle to win a free Love Session (valued £200), just send us a pic of your review to be entered. And if you share the book with a friend who also writes a rave review, they get entered and you get entered again (so another chance to win).

And if you truly feel ready to move your love life from “ho hum” to “hell yeah”, you can book a Love Tune Up call with me on this link to see if you qualify to be one of my small group of one to one clients.